I've the pen gently poised between my fingers. I hadn't touched my notebook in several months, but here I am again. Exposed. Naked.

They said it would help me. But it doesn't. I've a million things bubbling up inside...exciting things, new experiences/discoveries. Something inside of me numbs up when I reach for the words to form proper sentences. It isn't working.

And...I don't want you to see the girl I once was. She was so weak and fragile. Maybe I still am. Maybe I am not. The scars are deeper on the inside than the outside. I'm going to be in therapy my whole life because of those scars. But that doesn't mean I'm not strong.

So...I won't write about pain this time. I'll write about life.

You people shouldn't bitch and complain about your life. Stop it. It can always get worse. Live in the moment. Hope is never lost. Make a list of things you're grateful for. I'm serious. I've kept one for over three years, and it's ever-growing. Make them little things - because those are the most interesting and they are ultimately the things that make you smile.

786.) Jones Vanilla Cola.
787.) Wearing (thin) t-shirts without a bra.
788.) The semester almost being over.
789.) Green tea lightly sweetened with honey.
790.) tough-stuff brothers saying they love you.
791.) Being able to finally fit into a size four.

See? It's ever-growing.