I've been in an incredibly chipper mood lately. And, those who know me (which is only 1-2 of you guys) know that really isn't like me. But! I'm hanging in there. My dad's sobering up, very slowly. I'm seeing my very own love muffin in six days (yayy for muffins!) and we're going to have a good time together and spend New Year's curled up in each other's arms. I'm smiling and laughing more and I have more energy. What gives? I haven't been taking my medicine lately...I can't help but wonder if that's a part of it. That shit sometimes has the opposite effect on me. The only thing wrong now is those damn headaches I've been getting too frequently, and money situations. Both are temporary. I'm probably getting some MRI's done on my jaw/neck tomorrow, and I'm getting some cash for Christmas.
My best friend called me late last night. Told me he had a knife and he was about to end it all. I started bawling and begged him to not do it. We wound up talking for four hours. He told me everything, with me interupting once in awhile to comment or ask a question. By the end of our conversation, the tears had kinda dried and before we had hung up, I said "Hey Paul, if the thought even crosses your mind, I want you to call me. No if's, and's, or but's. Okay? I mean...I'm in St. Louis and you're in Michigan, but call, ok?" I could hear him nodding through the phone.
"You know you have such a calming affect on people, Dani," He said. "You're going to make one hell of a good therapist."
"Yeah. I know."
....
I'm listening to mixed CD's I made like two years ago. And I'm starting to see how annoying that dude, Bright Eyes' voice sounds. Not to offend anyone. You know I love him...but god. He just sounds so goddamn whiny. I got Basement on a Hill and I first listened to it when I was driving to St. Peters to drop my library books off. I had to pull off the side of the road because I was sobbing and too many horns were blaring at me. Long live emo.
I have to work tonight...probably until 12:30. But that's okay. I feel fine. Just get rid of the headaches and I'd be feeling better than I have in years. There's always a drawback. That's okay. I've something to hold onto. For once. And I'm not letting go of it.
My best friend called me late last night. Told me he had a knife and he was about to end it all. I started bawling and begged him to not do it. We wound up talking for four hours. He told me everything, with me interupting once in awhile to comment or ask a question. By the end of our conversation, the tears had kinda dried and before we had hung up, I said "Hey Paul, if the thought even crosses your mind, I want you to call me. No if's, and's, or but's. Okay? I mean...I'm in St. Louis and you're in Michigan, but call, ok?" I could hear him nodding through the phone.
"You know you have such a calming affect on people, Dani," He said. "You're going to make one hell of a good therapist."
"Yeah. I know."
....
I'm listening to mixed CD's I made like two years ago. And I'm starting to see how annoying that dude, Bright Eyes' voice sounds. Not to offend anyone. You know I love him...but god. He just sounds so goddamn whiny. I got Basement on a Hill and I first listened to it when I was driving to St. Peters to drop my library books off. I had to pull off the side of the road because I was sobbing and too many horns were blaring at me. Long live emo.
I have to work tonight...probably until 12:30. But that's okay. I feel fine. Just get rid of the headaches and I'd be feeling better than I have in years. There's always a drawback. That's okay. I've something to hold onto. For once. And I'm not letting go of it.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
.chris