a few letters of sorts...


dear cat,

please stop laying on my open textbook. that thing cost $150 and i'd rather it not smell like kitty booty. why can't you sleep on my bed, like any normal kitty? oh well...i love you anyway.

dear mom,

please stop acting like i'm a child. you can be blunt or tell me how it is...i'd rather you do it that way. i'm tired of you sugarcoating everything. i do know my body and what is best for me...although it might've not been the best thing for you when you were twenty.

dear boss,

give me a raise. i damn well deserve it and i work really hard. it's about time. wait...please?

dear brother,

turn your god awful music down...or else i will blast you away with bands you hate like hot hot heat or the white stripes. you damn well know my stereo can overpower yours.

dear winter,

stop snowing. you're not good for my seasonal depression...at least give us some sun for a few days? if you do me this favor...i promise to plant a tree/some exotic flower in your honor.

love,
me