So I feel like it's time too actually explain too you guys why I am the way I am and basically fuck most shit up. I am agoraphobic and have severe social anxiety. If you guys don't know what that is, agoraphobia is basically when you don't leave yer house and can't even function in the outside world.. I obv do leave my house only because I have too but absolutely dread everything about it and will NEVER leave without a family member er my boyfriend ryan. Now most people who are agoraphobic have social anxiety, and mines extremely severe. I won't look people in the face when I'm talking er being talked too. I giggle awkwardly and hide in my phone even when there's no reason too be feeling awkward. I bite my nails er smoke 30 cigs in a row too try too ease my anxiety but it never really works. I have zero, and i mean literally no girlfriends because of this and I am well aware of the fact it's Noone else's fault er problem but mine but I am extremely depressed due too these circumstances.. I really do try my hardest too make friends, but my awkwardness and being that I haven't been around too many people since high school makes it seem like I come off as a bitch apparently since alot of girls on here hate me.. I don't let petty shit bother me but sooner er later you start thinking "it must just be me.." and these sicknesses are destroying my life. I'm not looking fer a pity party er anything, just wanted too explain too everyone, especially the girls I do consider "friends" on here, why I act the way i do. I've never really even told anyone how upset this makes me, but my feelings do get hurt extremely easily.. I've done nothing but cry all day because I feel like I've ruined and continue too ruin things fer people I love. Well that's about it, like I said I just wanted you guys too get a little bit of an understanding as too what I go through on a daily basis and why I'm a little more "odd" then most. But I love you all and yer support means alot. All I can do now that's it's out there is keep trying too work on it and hopefully it will get better. Thanks fer Listening too me rant.
Xoxo
Taystee
