taurus

hospital hijinx

I have a pain in my lower right flank. I have had this pain for weeks. It hurts when i walk, It hurts when i drink coffee, it hurts when i smoke, it just hurts.

I went to the doctor, They did some tests. They had ideas, but no real diagnoses. I had a sonogram, I had a catscan (no they did not find my missing cat, but that woulda been a great story). They found something in my gallbladder. It is little. Could it cause so much pain? maybe. They gave me a special lowfat diet to treat my gallbladder nicely.... no avocados, no high fat foods, no chocolate, no granola, no whole milk.

I gave up coffee. I said no thankyou to the vicodin prescription. I turned down pain meds 5 times today. I don't care about the pain. I want to know what is wrong.

Here's what I learned. Nothing is wrong with me that should cause such pain. If I would like to stay in the hospital, they will keep testing me for things that might be wrong with me. The guy who drives the wheelchair is the nicest person in the hospital. He tucks blankets around your shoulders. All day, I tried to be as nice as a cancer-kid. By 5, I just needed a cigarette. I was very grouchy. They paid more attention to me when I was grouchy.

I like hospital shows. There were none of those fine-looking hotties at the hospital like there are on Grey's Anatomy. Do you think they work in Seattle? My idea to pick up on hot doctors at the nearby cafeteria is so over --- i realized I can't imagine hanging out with a group of these people.

They have tvs on every bed in the hospital. Personal viewing units. I watched Oprah and Ellen today. And i learned about the Puggle - the beagle - pug mix puppy. This is a cute dog.

I went through media withdrawal in 5 hours without email, text or cell phone. I never want to have that happen again.

If I accept that I have something wrong with my gall bladder, do I have to give up chocolate and avocadoes? I think not.

My dad says "honey, that's why they call it 'practising medicine'"