tattoohotdolly

trying to live with someone for the first time is becoming very exauhsting...really! i love him, more than he will ever know im sure...but he is sooooo stuborn and so stuck in his way its almost like he has no room for me. he does things his way, always has, so when i come into his world i dont fit. or at least hes resiting making the "fit" almost unbearbale for me and that really hurts me. he says he was raised to be the way he is....but hes a grown man! he says he has these "morals" and "issues" that will never change and because he supports me i need to learn to deal with them...what an asshole right?!?! i just want him to "make room" for me in his life. he (i thought) agreed to do that when he said i could move in. i quess i was wrong. i suppose what i am really trying to say is im scared. is he ever gonna grow up and let me be his girlfriend...yah my clothes are gonna lay around, yah my makeup is gonna be in his bathroom, yah i drink half a bottle or can and leave it there for hours...oh yah and its ok for me to use your deoderant and its ok for me to put my dirty clothes in with yours and its ok that my things dont get picked up right away! to qoute him (haha) "thats the way i was raised"! i thought these "quirks" i have are supposed to be endearing...like when he sees something of mine he's supposed to smile and think "she so messy, but i love her, everything about her." and did it even cross his mind that maybe ive been doing the "messy" thing so well latley is because i feel so left out i just want my stuff to be a part of this apartment, to not be behind closed doors or in my bathroom or in my laundry basket. forcing my things in places they "arnt supposed to be" is sorta like a cry for help. if he doesnt understand this soon...i dont know.....

i miss this nate...happy...drunk but happy nate.....