tattoohotdolly

i hate to think about the past. i hate to think about the future. both make me ill. some things deep, while others are trivial. i stress, it consumes me. i laugh, it revives me. only to be stuck in this ongoing, seemingly endless spiral of anger, shame, quilt, happiness, excitment, pleasure, my god. its like someone askeds you whats wrong, and you open your mouth, but where do you start. on the other hand they ask you the same question later and you have nothing to say because, right then, at that very moment, your peachy fuckin keen. can this get anymore rediculous? what are his true intentions behind this crap? why do i always have to be the last to know? who is this girl? why does he snore so loud? can i afford this...? what is this worth? how far can i push him?

*sighs*

on a less intense note, im doin ok. ive got a wonderful boyfriend, to elaborate would probably be an interigation all in its own (he reads this). but i will say this, if it wasnt for him my noises would never be heard. toms up top his old ticks (damn the ex) i will be startin a new job in a few days. school starts in jan. good god im nervous bout that too. started my period yesterday, lovley surprise. i yelled at a man in a big truck toady for goin to slowly *i know he couldnt hear me* i need a new acr desperatly. i need kisses desperatly. wheres nate, what is he doin now?