tatian

300 comments! thank you... for those of u asking bout the fire hydrant in the middle of the creek - see last post.

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Made the video shoot this morning. OMG. super neat, but i was so so tired. I dunno how I got up out of bed this morning.

I feel like I got so much going on. Work got rid of my insurance :/ (not sure how that happened, but it doesnt surprise me - just make me mad... and sad...) - the new doc office sent me a letter and a bill ::gasp:: like $900.

I think the bill alone is gonna make me sick to my stomach

meh. anyways. that bill is not a priority - paying rent, on the other hand, is. lol.

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Tried to post a blog the other day with pics... but I guess that never happened. This hypoglycemia thing makes me feel "fuzzy" and i seem to be forgetting things.

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work messed up my schedule. And have me at a register again. I walked straight into the managers office this morning and told him that it wasnt going to work. (they've had over a months notice bout my new availability).. and that standing w/fibromy. is just torture.

he's gonna call me and let me know.

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THE MUSIC VIDEO; I got to play a pretty (dead) body in a video that Vermelho was involved in. Im so excited - the whole thing is just so neat. I kinda wanted to stay and watch him work, but I didnt want to intrude and was very tired...

I cant wait to see it.

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I feel overwhelmed right now. I mean, ultimately things are great; things seem to be coming together - in many ways - but all at the same time, maybe?... and then there is the other half of me that says I'm not moving in the right direction and that maybe these things, while seemingly good are maybe bad - in the long run - some of them...

sigh.

I feel like I know what I want. But that maybe I not ready for all of it... or just all of it at once or so fast, or just "yet"...

if that makes any fucking sense.

::shrug::

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Did I mention that my whole family is pressuring me to marry my Neo - aka MorbidAngel? He is amazing, but I'm not ready I dont think. If I were I think I'd be packing my shit up right now... He treats me great, like a lady, and he's so giving and caring.

...but...

::sigh::

I'm scared to try. And scared that if I dont try that there wont ever be a chance. RAWR.

this boy thing sucks

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meh meh meh...

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I need to lose myself for a while.

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Thanks to everyone who's left me love on the new set Skinny Dipping.





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I happened to leave the cd with most of my san diego trip in san diego... so, yeah... no pics yet, except for a small few;



(ok, n/m... i keep uploading, but they're not showing up..)

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Ok. I really gotta go now.