Wednesday Sep 03, 2008

0
am i still tough enough?
feels like i'm wearing down
is my visciousness
losing ground?
am i taking too much
did i cross a line
i need my role in this
very clearly defined
i need your discipline
i need your help
i need your discipline
you know once i start i cannot help myself
and now it's starting up
feels like i'm losing touch
nothing matters to me
nothing matters as much
i see you left a mark
up and down my skin
i don't know where I end
and where you begin
i need your discipline
i need your help
i need your discipline
you know once i start i cannot help myself
once i start i cannot stop myself

***

This song seems fitting...

Been listening to NIN a lot lately... not that that's any big surprise... cause God damn, I LOOOOVE Trent Reznor. NIN rocks my socks... thank God for him and his music.

***

i didn't do it yet. but no promises. it was hard enough to hold back for one night when it was all i wanted to do... just wanted to let u know i didn't cut...

yet.

yeah... and i'm a pro at it... so nothing to deep, i promise.

as much as I feel like it sometimes, I am not sucidal; I couldn't do that to my lil sister...

cutting for me, is a BIG release... it helps me NOT do "other" things. If that makes any sense...

Anyways, u're all SO WONDERFUL to me. I heart u all... I will get back to all of ur messages...

but now, it's time to go make money so i can pay these damned bills... GIR

XOxoXOxoXOxo

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
noahmack:
I actually listen to ICP, Manson, NIN, and HIM a lot when I am depressed. I don't know why though. I love all of that music, but it never really helps me cheer up. hahaha

I never thought that you were suicidal either, T. I just believe that everyone has their breaking point. Some of us never get to that point, but I believe that it's there nonetheless.

I'm still deadly serious about the "you cut, I cut" thing as well. I understand that it is a release for you, and I'm sure it is the lesser of whatever evils might lie within you, but there are completely healthy ways to release all the negative vibes. Besides, do you really want to intentionally blemish that perfect body of yours? wink
noahmack:
Totally not necessary, T. I was more than happy to do it. If I could have gotten everything on there, I would have, but I had some gifts I had to get for a couple other people this time around as well.

I'm just glad I could help brighten atleast one day, and you DO deserve it. You really do. smile

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