Er... It's funny how you get so many responses one gets to a "WOW! I am STONED" post. lol
Well. Bad news is that "stoney me" forgot to set an alarm and make an inmportant appointment today.
I am so ticked and feel utterly defeated; it took me months to get to this day for this stupid appointment.
And now, in my (ironic) attempt to help myself (w/weed) I msised my "MEDS" appointment.
And all you ppl out there with;
Bi-polar dissorder, panic attacks, (slight) OCD, social anxiety disorder, and bouts of cronic fatigue, with a side of fibromyalgia (or something!)...
... you know how important meds can be.
... AND you know what happens when ppl just "drop" their meds - it's a HUGE DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
ppl can get all sorts of fucked-up... and well, i am surprised, actually, that i am "still around"
it is fucking hard without help.
and i say that as a person with issues and as a psychology student... i'm a damn idoiot to miss that appointment.
er. no wonder i am falling apart. I can't even keep the day of week straight anymore; they all blend into one to me (and that has nothing to do, btw, with smoking bud; even when i am sober... i mess shit like that up...)
i think it's stress.
and i think, that, over the years... as all this stuff just starts piling up and you get one confirmation over another and after diagnosis after diagnosis... soon the blackness starts to fee on the need (confirmed) blackness... and it starts to crawl up over your body; spreading like fire...
and soon your up in flames...
and a good day for you is if you just manage to still alive, burning alive and in all sorts of crazy physical pain and emotional/mental turmoil...
...if you can manage to survive the day without a fucking panic attack (or two of them!)... THAT is a good day...
...when you can remember what damned day it is...
...when you make it up outta bed...
...when you actually "feel" like eating something... and food sounds good...
those are good days for me.
It took me months to get into this program i am in and i forgot to make it to the appointment to get my prescripts filled.
i can't fucking believe i managed this at all. I even had it written in HUGE letters on my HUGE calender. (covered in mail right now).
GIR.
I think i'm gonna go try and fix the stupid desktop that crashed (under WINDOWS, what a big damn surprise.)
I should get a damn job "fixing windows shit" since i am so fucking good with it. I might as well be certified.
Oh, another sad thing about it, is that I know I will get it to work, eventually, but I also know that with windows, you have to do something over and over again before it "sticks" - it's kinda like training a puppy...
::shrugs:: It's alive!
lol.
at least something is.
I'm gonna go battle windows.
"bock bock bock"
OH OH OH! Props for Gay Marriage being legal in CA! WHoop WHoop! (It's about damn time)
AND OH OH OH. New "sentence" HAHA. whatda think?
ANd extra KISSES for Abbiss and her cool new set in MR! MUAH!
Well. Bad news is that "stoney me" forgot to set an alarm and make an inmportant appointment today.
I am so ticked and feel utterly defeated; it took me months to get to this day for this stupid appointment.
And now, in my (ironic) attempt to help myself (w/weed) I msised my "MEDS" appointment.
And all you ppl out there with;
Bi-polar dissorder, panic attacks, (slight) OCD, social anxiety disorder, and bouts of cronic fatigue, with a side of fibromyalgia (or something!)...
... you know how important meds can be.
... AND you know what happens when ppl just "drop" their meds - it's a HUGE DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
ppl can get all sorts of fucked-up... and well, i am surprised, actually, that i am "still around"
it is fucking hard without help.
and i say that as a person with issues and as a psychology student... i'm a damn idoiot to miss that appointment.
er. no wonder i am falling apart. I can't even keep the day of week straight anymore; they all blend into one to me (and that has nothing to do, btw, with smoking bud; even when i am sober... i mess shit like that up...)
i think it's stress.
and i think, that, over the years... as all this stuff just starts piling up and you get one confirmation over another and after diagnosis after diagnosis... soon the blackness starts to fee on the need (confirmed) blackness... and it starts to crawl up over your body; spreading like fire...
and soon your up in flames...
and a good day for you is if you just manage to still alive, burning alive and in all sorts of crazy physical pain and emotional/mental turmoil...
...if you can manage to survive the day without a fucking panic attack (or two of them!)... THAT is a good day...
...when you can remember what damned day it is...
...when you make it up outta bed...
...when you actually "feel" like eating something... and food sounds good...
those are good days for me.
It took me months to get into this program i am in and i forgot to make it to the appointment to get my prescripts filled.
i can't fucking believe i managed this at all. I even had it written in HUGE letters on my HUGE calender. (covered in mail right now).
GIR.
I think i'm gonna go try and fix the stupid desktop that crashed (under WINDOWS, what a big damn surprise.)
I should get a damn job "fixing windows shit" since i am so fucking good with it. I might as well be certified.
Oh, another sad thing about it, is that I know I will get it to work, eventually, but I also know that with windows, you have to do something over and over again before it "sticks" - it's kinda like training a puppy...
::shrugs:: It's alive!
lol.
at least something is.
I'm gonna go battle windows.
"bock bock bock"
OH OH OH! Props for Gay Marriage being legal in CA! WHoop WHoop! (It's about damn time)
AND OH OH OH. New "sentence" HAHA. whatda think?
ANd extra KISSES for Abbiss and her cool new set in MR! MUAH!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
ducksarecrazy:
Take a deep breath and remember depression is like alcoholism.....just one moment at a time. 
light_bringer:
Sorry to hear that you missed your appointment. Maybe you can get them to reschedule you sooner than later. Like you said, it's not good when people just drop their meds.