tarts

So last night me and my buddy A are out having drinks. We talk about everything from dating to politics to naughty sex stories. The topic of moving too fast came up and I asked him if a girl can ever be taken serious when she fucks a guy too fast. His response was that when that happens with a girl he likes he's usually dissapointed and never takes her serious becaue "she gave it up too fast". Then I asked why would he think less of her if he fucked her too and why should he still be taken serious at that point. He said that guys are known to be horn-dogs and that it's the girl who's supposed to stop the brakes and conduct herself like a lady. I never have understood this double standard and what bothers me most, is that I usually have this exact same conversation with Latin men. It's usually (not always but most of the time) Latin men that look at women with this double standard. I constantly hear "but guys are guys. They're going to be like that" so here I am sitting pondering why it is acceptable for a man to want to rush into something but not ok for a woman. If a woman is comfortable enough with her body and wants to get her fuck on with no feelings or attachment, shouldn't that be just as acceptable as when a guy fucks a girl just to have someting to ejaculate into rather than his left hand?

Scenario number 2: I'm talking to my coworkers at school, who happen to be black. I ask if a girl fucks you too soon will you ever take her serious? One coworker (R) said that if a girl moves in too soon he expects that she doesn't want anything serious so he won't in the begginging. However, emotions can develop over time and the nature of the relatioship may change so it's definitely a possibility. He also went on to say that he has had serious relaionships have come out of former fuck buddies. My other coworker (R2) said that for the most part, a chick that puts out too soon probably won't ever be taken serious but if the chick is different (different being defined by him) that he may change his mind with time.

Scenario numeber three: I'm at bourbons hanging out with some people from Nordstroms, a few (white) guys are there. One of the guys (G) phone rings and he answers. His tone of voice indicates he's talking to his wife. When he hangs up, Al asks G how he and his wife met. HE tells us that when he first met his wife, she got him drunk and took advantage of him and they had mind blowing sex. After that they strted seeing each other casually and soon a relationship blossomed and now, over ten years later, he is happpily married with a dog. Another (white) guy chimes in a similar story, reminiscing of how he met his girl, had a one-night stand and soon they became a serious thing. I recall how when I worked at Body Shop, one of my former co-workers Elky (also white, but from Canada) told me that before her and her husband seriously dated, they were fuck buddies.

So the point of this is... my mother better expect some black and white grandkids from me! ok seriously, I don't know if Andy's view on women has to do with the fact that Latin culture tends to be very Machista (is there an English word for Machismo?) and, even when educated, the Machista attitude still comes throught, though not in the raunchy "woman! wheres my dinner? Dont make me get the hose on you!!!" kind of way. I notice that even when Americanized, Latin men tend to have a double standard for women and view them as less than men, though not in an obviuos way that even they may not realize. I'm intelligent enough to recognize that not every Latin man thinks this way but I know, based on experienced from growing up Latin, that this double standard does exist. Though this generalization, if you will, does not apply to every single Latin man, it definitely applies to enough Latin men for it to exist.

I don't think I will ever understand this double standard because I can admit to liking casual sex and I don't really care if a guy thinks I'm putting out too fast cause damn it, I want my nut as much as he does. And if he thinks less of me cause I fucked him too soon? Fuck you cunt! I don't want to deal with anyone that narrow minded so its your loss cause Im the best sex you'll never have (again). I practice safe sex and monogamy, even when it's not a serious thing. I don't lie about what I have done, nor try to hide it, and I don't run around sleeping with other peoples boyfriends, husbands, fuck sticks or whatever you want to call it. Damn it, I respect the fuck stick. Being highly sexual and not hiding it does not necessarily mean being a skank. I don't sleep with a guy to get him to like me, or to feel "wanted", validated or loved. A relationship is great but sometimes a person may not have the time or state of mind to commit themselves which is usually where a casual sex arrangements works out. So why is this not acceptable for a woman but ok for a man? I know it's not just Latin culture that sees things this way but it really bugs me that it's mostly Latin men I run into who feel this way. I am so determined to have a diversified gene pool for this reason but it would be really nice if I could find more than a small handful of Latin men to disprove this theory of mine.