tartpop

i feel like such a jerk.
i get so defensive and mad and just....grrrrrrrr! when i read people's stuff or talk to people and they're all "i miss this boy" or whatever. AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can call them and talk to them whenever you want and talk as long as you want. you can talk to them online for hours and hours. you can even visit them and see them as often as you like.

i haven't slept next to my husband in over three months now. i have no phone number what-so-ever to call him at, and whenever he does get to call me the longest we can ever talk is 20 minutes and THAT is a priviledge compared to one 5 minute phone call a month! i can't just jump on AIM and chat away with him. i can't see him. i can't feel him. i can't kiss him. i can't hold him. i can't lay my head on his shoulder and cry when it seems like everyone in oklahoma is telling me how much they hate me and can't wait for me to leave.

it will be 34 days until i get to see my husband again, and then it will only be for a couple days, and then he will have to go back for another MONTH! he has missed my birthday, valentine's day, and will miss our one year anniversary. i miss him soooo much i feel like my heart is breaking and i just want to scream. this isn't puppy love!!!!!! this isn't just another crush! this is the love of my life and the man i'm supposed to grow old with growing older away from me and i just want him to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm sorry if i seem insensitive to how you miss your boys but you have things so great and you don't even realize it. so be grateful and spare me.

(sorry this was quite rant-y, but i really needed to vent.)