tarragon

Just got a phone call from my mum.

My Auntie Sue died yesterday.

She's been terminally ill for a while so it was no great surprise.

I've always had a very fatalistic approach to death, even within my own family. For me death is as much a part of life as living is and I'm comfortable with the knowledge that those people I love and care for, myself included are not going to be around forever.

I havent always felt this way. When my best friend Pam died when we were fourteen I was devastated. Perhaps getting older has something to do with it or maybe I have just developed a different sense of perspective to everyone else but in the last decade or so I have been more upset by the breakdown of friendships and relationships than I have been by the death of someone close to me.

Death is always going to happen whether I want it to or not, but losing a friend over a silly argument or a lover over a petty difference of opinion doesnt have to happen. When it does my whole world falls apart.