tarragon

Well, once more I am free and single. My hopes for a new relationship began to fade a few weeks ago when it became obvious that the person concerned was losing interest. It was he who said he wanted the relationship but it was me making all the effort. His texts and phone calls went from frequent and flirtacious to rare and devoid of emotion. Eventually, he stopped responding to me at all.

He said he was too busy with work. I knew when we first got to know each other that his job was demanding and that I wouldnt see him very often. I have my own life so it wasnt a problem. But no relationship can survive a complete lack of communication. I feel sorry for the person who feels he is too busy to find five minutes a day to speak to his friends but not sorry enough to put my life on hold and spend my spare time sitting by the phone hoping for the call that never arrives. To expect as much is completely unreasonable.

In the end I felt I had no other option to call it off which I did this morning with a final message saying goodbye. I would have preferred to talk it over with him, to find out what was going on. I still feel he at least owes me an explanation for his behaviour but I know thats not going to be forthcoming now.

Of course, I now feel guilty for calling it off. I dont like having to end something by voicemail or text message because it smells of cowardice but when a person wont answer their phone what other choice do you have? I had great hopes. I still really like him. I feel that a great opportunity has been thrown away and it upsets me that he seemed willing to do so in such a casual manner. I wasnt even worth going to the effort of a phone call for.

Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.