tarnish

I just learned that my uncle, who is more like a big brother to me(he's only 10 years older than me), is in the hospital, in less than good condition. About 8 months ago he found out he had a heart condition, which required him to quit his job as an electrician. Then about a month ago, he went into the hospital with kidney failure. Then the day before yesterday he started throwing-up blood, so he went in to get some tests done, and they've kept him there since. Today they found out he has a viral infection in his heart. And his blood pressure is so low it's not registering. He is in and out of conciousness, and extremely depressed because he thinks he's going to die.

I have known something was up for a while now, but Chris wouldn't say anything to anyone about his health. What tipped me off was when he started planning this extravagant trip to New York for this summer. He booked a helicopter fleight over the statue of liberty, he's going to a yankee game, two broadway shows, the Sopranos tour, and he payed(yep, it;s all paid for) for both him and my mom to do all this. My mom has been giving him constant shit about how much he's paying for everything, and he's telling her money is no object.

My family isn't rich. At all. That was a huge clue for me and I've been worried ever since. And now, my worry has become a reality. No emoticon can express my feelings right now. My grandparents raised me, and Chris was like my brother, and thats just how I see him.
He was always there for me as a kid. He would cheer me up when my grandma went crazy on me, he treated me like a person instead of just a kid, and he helped me realise I had a lot of talent when I was growing up, when others were constantly telling me I was good for nothing.

This is a man who has never once had a break in life. As a child he was born def, and had constant ear infections and multiple surgeries that only partially restored his hearing. He's pale and redhaired and goofy, and was picked on all through his childhood for it. When he got into 9th grade, a bully literally punched his teeth in. He walked up to him, and said "I'm gonna punch you in the mouth." And when my uncle laughed, the guy did it. The only thing that saved his teeth from flying down the back of his throat were his braces. Every girlfriend he's ever had has used him for his kindness and generousity. The only real girlfriend he ever had got engaged to him, only to be diagnosed with MS, have a nervous breakdown and leave him. And now his health is failing him at 34 years old. All I can do is pray for him, to a god I've lost almost all faith in, and hope upon hope that he pulls through, and can take his trip, and finally meet a nice woman to settle down with...

I'm going to try to get out there to visit him some time this week, but my car is SUCH a piece of shit, I don't think it would make it there. ughhhh....

Before I heard about my uncle, my boss called me to tell me they are temporarily promoting me while our ASM is on vacation, which is kind of nervewracking, seeing as I havent been completely trained yet. God damn I am fucking stressin'.