tanzi

Judging by the fact I can now post tags for the SG sets - usually illadvised and unhelpful ones mind, like the tag for a girl called Erny proclaiming she "drives the fastest milkcart in the west" (one for the Brits I think) - I must have been on here for over nine months. That's nine months and not a single blog post or testimonial, nothing. Perhaps this is just me being lazy, although I hadn't been on MySpace 9 minutes before I was rambling on like a war veteran with alzheimer's and posting it for the whole world to see. I think instead I just wasn't sure what to write about. Suicide Girls is, ignoring all the clichs associated with the phrase and without going into the more specific sub-catagories, an alternative community. And a community it is, which I hadn't realised when I joined. My housemate - god love her - showed me the SG MySpace page and before long I'd subscribed to the daily blog posts, but it was a few months until I decided to reach into my wallet and sign up to the real thing. The thing is tho, I look at a lot of the people on here and think, I soooo don't belong. I have only one tattoo (although crave more), no peircings (considering an eyebrow tho, but it might make me look a bit gay and enough people have assumed that already) and as ecclectic as my taste in music is, I could only claim to like a handful of metal bands. I thought Suicide Girls was simply a site where the hottest girls in the known universe got their kit off and we sat with a cup of tea thinking, "Well, I wouldn't have thought to stick a piece of metal through that" (that's how we do it in England anyway), but I come to realise it's so much more. The thing is, I don't know if I belong in such a community, or indeed if I want to. I mean, some of it absolutely terrifies me. But then again, I'm quite a fan of most of it. And the other day I found myself surfing through the pages of SG listening to Nine Inch Nails and I had to stop for a moment, just to take in the situation, and I thought to myself, you've come a long way Benjamin! Although I know there is still much further to go, if I choose.