tantrum_child

as i sit here
in this room
it smells the same
it carries the same warmth
the familiar mess
the same feel on my skin
it's size
it's sunlight
i'm going to miss it
my little brother
i'm going to miss him
but this is maybe
a way in which
i can become closer with the boys
allow them into MY world
i plan on having one room aside
for sleepovers!

as i sit here
almost in tears with the reality
of what's about to be
tomorrow when we come
and move all my stuff

there she is
sitting out in the sun
her pathetically frail
dark brown
tanned
wrinkly
plastic body
burning some more under the day's hot rays

and i'm glad
i'm glad i'm getting away
finally


it breaks my heart
to leave dad and the boys
but things are happening
and now they have my house
to retreat to
and my promise
of doing whatever it takes


i love you three
dad, zal and arki

one day we'll be free..


and her...

i dont even know how i feel
im overwhelmed by sadness
and a deep loss
that truly


i feel nothing at all...