tantrum_child

im bored
im over it
i cant be bothered

neither can you


i want a new life
new surroundings
i want my house
i want my stuff to come home to
i want security
i want to know
whats mine is there
and no one can take it away from me

i love my man
i love my family

and each of my friends
presents...
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WHOA!!! it's been a while!!!

long time no see kiddlies!! it's been a busy few weeks.. what to report?
my boyfriend's mother is driving me insane so i've been frantically searching for my ideal house so i can move the fuck out! finances tho are lacking due to many a day off due to excessive partying causing sickness

but it was fun!!


hahahaha... on the...
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new photos!!
that's all really. updated the "me" album with just a few pics of me randomly fucking around with my camera doin that love yaself myspace poser thing!
old photo of me in mah knickers lol
and yeaaaah
what else?
im super excited cos im getting my new hair soon!! cannot fucken wait! i miss having bulk hair of all different colours to play...
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promoted?

So...
I told the cafe i can't work sundays, because i get paid more on sundays at the yacht club. they seemed quite distressed and have been trying to find someone to fill my position for sundays...
The owner said to me "Think of a solution" and im thinking "pay me more"
I asked for more shifts, or if they were available and so...
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i was amused

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating! (this is funny & sometimes true!)
Also use another random shuffeled song for the subject

What does next year have in store for me?
back to the old school

What's my love life like?
two am lovesick (hahaha)

What...
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FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE!
dont you DARE come in here!

im using a razor, one i took from speedworks
that they use to remove stickers from windscreens
and that i used to clean my nails
to remove a piece of shit
from between keys of my keyboard
and the fucking bitch comes in here
asking if I'm angry with her
yes i fucking hate...
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perhaps

maybe im not as far on my road to doom as i suspected
but thats me
i freak out in the moment
and then i get over it
but im not over it
im just feeling a little better
it helps having the most amazing boyfriend
in the world
who i can call
and talk through it all with
who i know would drop...
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note to all

I'm fucking losing the plot
absolutely losing it

chlo goes crazy
part 12

I'm sorry in advance
i don't feel there's anything i can do to stop it.

love you

=where are you=

you told me
it was up to me
you told me
we meant more
you told me
if i needed you
you'd be home
you told me
all it would take
was the slightest indication
i wasn't coping
and you'd find another way

i'm not coping
i'm not surviving
drowning
breaking
the panic attacks
more frequent
more aggressive
so fucking scary

like...
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(( the harsh and biting reality is))

do you think
hypocrisy
could be an illness?
in most cases
it's obviously just
human nature
or poor character
but i just witnessed
an event
that caused me to consider...

my dad came home
at 630
he's normally home
at 530 or 6
and my mother
standing by my side
in the kitchen
(such proximity makes me sick)...
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-he took my heart away in his suitcase-


i've been
so depressed
since you've been gone
endless tears
stinging raw cheeks

it's meant to get easier
but i just keep falling
this is fucked

my support is gone
my love is gone
the one thing i live for
isn't here
to live for
the motivation to get up
and be IN life
isn't here
to...
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