"How I Spent My Saturday at Taschen's Sale"
Dear Taschen Books,
I have been an admirer of your creative and intriguing publications for some time now. I easily own dozens of your books, and as a book collector, you have always been one of my favorite publishers. This is why I was delighted to receive your postcard advertising a warehouse sale at your Beverly Hills store where you were offering thousands of slightly damaged and display copies from Taschen on sale at bargain basement prices, 50% - 75% off. I eagerly anticipated the Saturday afternoon I would come to your store and leave having acquired a number of wonderful volumes, perhaps needing an assistant to help me to my car with them. Not really, but I did envision myself being heavily burdened and weighed down by so many wonderful sale books, spending many subsequent afternoons poring over their delicious imagery.
After receiving the postcard, I was under the impression that this would be such an outstanding sale, I actually marked the weekend in my calendar. I imagined throngs of people battling over juicy damaged and display copies, and I deliberately set some time to come to Beverly Hills and see what this sale looked like for myself. Not on Friday (the first day of the sale), because I worked. But not on Sunday (the last day), because surely most of the best sale copies would have been gone. I intended to come first thing Saturday morning.
As I made my way to Beverly Hills (not exactly next-door to where I live), my anticipation grew. What would I buy at Taschen today? A super collection of 1960s mens magazines? An oversized Helmut Newton picture book? Would it be a book about films of the 60s, 70s, 80s, or all three? Visions of discounted and artfully bound books danced through my head as I finally stepped over the threshold into the Wonderful World of Taschen Books and.
Where was the sale? I found one modest island in the middle of the store, the scant few books on it halfheartedly marked down, but certainly not to 75% off cover price. The only thing I found was a single copy of Some like it Hot marked down to $29.99, but the front cover was completely ripped off, as were several pages inside of it. Who would pay that price for such a crumby volume when you could get a brand-new copy for $59.99? What kind of sale was this? Surely there was an extra room somewhere (a warehouse, perhaps) that boasted the THOUSANDS of books on sale? No, said the salesperson. The island was it.
The thought occurred to me that I had come too late. But even if I had, there was no possible way thousands of books would have fit on that measly little island in your already-small store. In fact, I had serious doubts as to whether your entire store holds thousands of books. Was the postcard just a cheap ploy to hook in customers? If so, in my case, it hardly worked. I am more disappointed by Taschen than ever. Really, as a publisher, you should know more about toning down the rhetoric. Some people who have never been in your store (like myself) might actually believe you when you use words like warehouse and thousands of books. I cant recall being this disappointed in a long while.
Fortunately, I had come early enough not to have wasted an entire afternoon on my sojourn to the disappointing world of Taschen. It was a beautiful day, and I resumed my initial plans to bicycle along Venice Beach with a person very dear to me. Together we bicycled into the salty wind, leaving behind our broken dreams of thousands of slightly damaged and display copies on sale.
Looking forward to your next, less exaggerated postcard.
Sincerely,
TML
Dear Tanja,
I am really sorry that you are disappointed by our sale. I think that you might have come a week after the actual sale and what you saw (if you came in on Saturday, January 28) is the remainder of the thousands of books that we sold on the weekend of the book sale (January 20 to 22).
I hope that next time you will make it in time to the sale and that you will not be disappointed.
Best regards...
(Oops)
Dear Taschen Books,
I have been an admirer of your creative and intriguing publications for some time now. I easily own dozens of your books, and as a book collector, you have always been one of my favorite publishers. This is why I was delighted to receive your postcard advertising a warehouse sale at your Beverly Hills store where you were offering thousands of slightly damaged and display copies from Taschen on sale at bargain basement prices, 50% - 75% off. I eagerly anticipated the Saturday afternoon I would come to your store and leave having acquired a number of wonderful volumes, perhaps needing an assistant to help me to my car with them. Not really, but I did envision myself being heavily burdened and weighed down by so many wonderful sale books, spending many subsequent afternoons poring over their delicious imagery.
After receiving the postcard, I was under the impression that this would be such an outstanding sale, I actually marked the weekend in my calendar. I imagined throngs of people battling over juicy damaged and display copies, and I deliberately set some time to come to Beverly Hills and see what this sale looked like for myself. Not on Friday (the first day of the sale), because I worked. But not on Sunday (the last day), because surely most of the best sale copies would have been gone. I intended to come first thing Saturday morning.
As I made my way to Beverly Hills (not exactly next-door to where I live), my anticipation grew. What would I buy at Taschen today? A super collection of 1960s mens magazines? An oversized Helmut Newton picture book? Would it be a book about films of the 60s, 70s, 80s, or all three? Visions of discounted and artfully bound books danced through my head as I finally stepped over the threshold into the Wonderful World of Taschen Books and.
Where was the sale? I found one modest island in the middle of the store, the scant few books on it halfheartedly marked down, but certainly not to 75% off cover price. The only thing I found was a single copy of Some like it Hot marked down to $29.99, but the front cover was completely ripped off, as were several pages inside of it. Who would pay that price for such a crumby volume when you could get a brand-new copy for $59.99? What kind of sale was this? Surely there was an extra room somewhere (a warehouse, perhaps) that boasted the THOUSANDS of books on sale? No, said the salesperson. The island was it.
The thought occurred to me that I had come too late. But even if I had, there was no possible way thousands of books would have fit on that measly little island in your already-small store. In fact, I had serious doubts as to whether your entire store holds thousands of books. Was the postcard just a cheap ploy to hook in customers? If so, in my case, it hardly worked. I am more disappointed by Taschen than ever. Really, as a publisher, you should know more about toning down the rhetoric. Some people who have never been in your store (like myself) might actually believe you when you use words like warehouse and thousands of books. I cant recall being this disappointed in a long while.
Fortunately, I had come early enough not to have wasted an entire afternoon on my sojourn to the disappointing world of Taschen. It was a beautiful day, and I resumed my initial plans to bicycle along Venice Beach with a person very dear to me. Together we bicycled into the salty wind, leaving behind our broken dreams of thousands of slightly damaged and display copies on sale.
Looking forward to your next, less exaggerated postcard.
Sincerely,
TML
Dear Tanja,
I am really sorry that you are disappointed by our sale. I think that you might have come a week after the actual sale and what you saw (if you came in on Saturday, January 28) is the remainder of the thousands of books that we sold on the weekend of the book sale (January 20 to 22).
I hope that next time you will make it in time to the sale and that you will not be disappointed.
Best regards...
(Oops)
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
margarita salt on my wrist from leanin'
too long on that bar. Think I'll venture
down the block for some.Ya know,
salty "rawk" a two dollar bottled beer
and a blank stare at the Miller Lite mirror.
Wanna join me?
I scroll down through your writings looking
for something violent or sexual.
Call me...errr "American".
Either/Ither
I need sex!
Double cheeseburgers!
3-Ways!
Unfortunate traffic collisions!
Mongoloids and drool!
Ubpaid parking tickets!
Hash Browns with lots 'o Ketchup!