tanja

It appears Burbank has written me back:

Burbank, you hamlet of cultural drought
Youre filled with lies and traffic,
you gross me out.
Daily I choke on your chalky air,
Im sickened by your quilted metal wagon-spawned food.
Theres beauty in industry, but not in you.


Dear Tanja,

Frankly, I'm hurt.

I really wish you would have come to me first before plastering this all over the Internet. This has caused me more than a little embarrassment -- especially with regards to my very dear friends Glendale, Pasadena and La Canada-Flintridge. Think I don't notice them snickering at me?

Please understand -- I never meant to cause you pain.

I'm not sure where to begin. Cultural drought? Hello? IKEA? Fuddrucker's? BJ's? That used record store on San Fernando? As for the traffic -- yes -- but really, welcome to Southern California. In case you haven't noticed, we have a few too many cars here. It's not just me.

Finally, I'm sorry you had a bad experience with our metallic food wagons. Honestly, I'm not a fan either. May I suggest Johnny Rocket's? Well, on second thought, maybe not.

Anyway, Tanja, I hope you'll find it in your heart to give me another chance.

Best,
Burb

P.S. If you'd like to contact me, I'll be in my usual suite at the Holiday Inn. Have you seen the glass elevators?