Why I must get to Portland
Why I love the NBA: taken from the Boston Sports Guy's Western Conference Preview:
11. Portland
I love the NBA. I really do. Over the past two years, the Blazers made a big deal about two things: A.) We're adamant about creating cap space, and B) We're changing the character of our team. So what happens?
They trade Rasheed (who was playing great) for Ratliff and Shareef, then force Shareef to play out of position until he has the Private Pyle face going 24/7 and becomes pretty much untradeable.
They bring in Nick Van Exel, who makes Morrissey seem jovial by comparison.
They draft Sebastian Telfair and his 500-person entourage to get tutored by Van Exel, Damon Stoudamire, and Damon Stoudamire's eight-foot bong.
They keep Qyntel Woods, whose recent pit bull scandal could lead to him becoming the first Blazer ever to get A.) investigated by Don Yaeger and Lester Munson, and B.) his own segment on "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel."
They sign Ratliff to a $45 million extension, then Zack Randolph to an $86 million extension. Sayonara, cap space.
Out of all those events, my favorite was the Randolph signing. Here's a guy about whom his high school coach said, "I just don't want the day to come where I pick up that paper and it says [Zach] shot someone, or that he was shot. Every day that goes by that I don't see that, I feel good" ... and they hand him $86 million? I'd be afraid to loan the guy 20 bucks. Seriously, who's a shakier investment than Zack? Anyone? On the bright side, it led to the following phone call with my buddy House:
-- Me: Did you see what Randolph signed for?
-- House: (uproarious laughter)
-- Me: Can you believe that?
-- House: (giggling like a madman)
-- Me: Were they saying to themselves, "Maybe the prospect of becoming obscenely rich will calm him down?"
-- House: (hyperventilating).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
The NBA it's fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why I love the NBA: taken from the Boston Sports Guy's Western Conference Preview:
11. Portland
I love the NBA. I really do. Over the past two years, the Blazers made a big deal about two things: A.) We're adamant about creating cap space, and B) We're changing the character of our team. So what happens?
They trade Rasheed (who was playing great) for Ratliff and Shareef, then force Shareef to play out of position until he has the Private Pyle face going 24/7 and becomes pretty much untradeable.
They bring in Nick Van Exel, who makes Morrissey seem jovial by comparison.
They draft Sebastian Telfair and his 500-person entourage to get tutored by Van Exel, Damon Stoudamire, and Damon Stoudamire's eight-foot bong.
They keep Qyntel Woods, whose recent pit bull scandal could lead to him becoming the first Blazer ever to get A.) investigated by Don Yaeger and Lester Munson, and B.) his own segment on "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel."
They sign Ratliff to a $45 million extension, then Zack Randolph to an $86 million extension. Sayonara, cap space.
Out of all those events, my favorite was the Randolph signing. Here's a guy about whom his high school coach said, "I just don't want the day to come where I pick up that paper and it says [Zach] shot someone, or that he was shot. Every day that goes by that I don't see that, I feel good" ... and they hand him $86 million? I'd be afraid to loan the guy 20 bucks. Seriously, who's a shakier investment than Zack? Anyone? On the bright side, it led to the following phone call with my buddy House:
-- Me: Did you see what Randolph signed for?
-- House: (uproarious laughter)
-- Me: Can you believe that?
-- House: (giggling like a madman)
-- Me: Were they saying to themselves, "Maybe the prospect of becoming obscenely rich will calm him down?"
-- House: (hyperventilating).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
The NBA it's fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Thanks for the hi! Hi right back at ya!