tangledupinblue

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Looks like a-nothing but rain . . .
Sure gonna be wet tonight on Main Street . . .
Hope that it don't sleet.

Build me a cabin in Utah,
Marry me a wife, catch rainbow trout,
Have a bunch of kids who call me "Pa,"
That must be what it's all about,
That must be what it's all about.

~~~~~As-of-late-weekly Dylan~~~~~

Well, I couldn't go very long without throwing a Dylan song into the mix now, could I? Those of you who know me through my journal know that 'sooner or later' it comes back to Dylan or the ability to throw the curve when behind in the count.

So, that must be what it's all about. Change the lyric from Utah to Carolina and that must be what it's all about, right? Can't say. Damn Geminian nature. Yesterday's (or some recent day's) post saw a return to my musing on purity of purpose and feeling, in the persons of John Coffee et aliis. I said that I lack that purity, and it's true.

Maybe it's not purity, so much as decisiveness? "The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter either side of the hill." But as the pictures above show, my mind is split between the Smokey Mountains of Macon County, North Carolina, and the skyscrapers of Manhattan (yes I realize that the picture is out-of-date, but that's the NYC I grew up in, dammit).

"Since I'm never gonna cease to roam,
I'm never, ever far from home"

But is that true? Or is it that since I never ever feel at home, I'm always going to be on the roam? Eh, who am I to rewrite Santa Fe? I think that a lot of me is split down the middle. Hell, my friend Moses gave me this nickname. Born into blue blood with white trash sensibility. I asked him if he meant that my theme meal would be Duck a l'orange followed by a moon pie and an RC, and he just smiled.

Man, could I be less eloquent today? Just feel fucking lousy in my own skin. Maybe it's being at work again while the rest of the world BBQs. Maybe it's getting swept by the fucking MARLINS while the owner is in our offices smiling about it and giving me shit. Hating the client is bad, very bad. I'm just cranky, I guess. Man, some day maybe I'll have the ways and means to spend half my time here and half my time there, and that will be that. Or maybe I'll just live in the French Quarter and teach at Tulane and that will be just as good. Or maybe the problem lies not in my stars but, well, you know.

Maybe, I'm just Trash.

Well, I am at that, what do you know?

If I ever get married, she gets a two for one deal. Must seek out another Gemini for tag team personality dueling.

Happy Mem Day you drunken glorious bastards.

Trash out and back to work