Once I had mountains in the palm of my hand,
And rivers that ran through ev'ry day.
I must have been mad,
I never knew what I had,
Until I threw it all away.


~daily dylan~~~


"Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter - tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further... And one fine morning -

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

~~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

do you believe in the green light? What is your green light?

I realized something today, something sad yet funny. Something I've known but never so clearly, It's the fear of death that makes life so very difficult to live. Ain't that a bitch?


GOD I SOUND LIKE SUCH A WHINE DADDY!!!!!!! Setttle down Beavis.

I need to go see Allen and Barker. Nothing against my new friends, but they're my boys, and they are gonna know me better than anyone I meet from here on in I wager. That's not to shut the door on anyone else ever getting that close, just the 15 year head start, and our experiences in the war, I mean, in our house sophmore year miltate against the idea of ever finding that second nature recognition again. I love them both as if they were brothers and hope I've been good enough at letting them know and also just good enough to them in general. Can't belief they are both fathers too. Reprobates that they are.

Who knew?

Well, I'm gonna get drunk on the terrace of a penthouse tonight on Veuve Cliquot, and then I'm gonna score, and then I'm gonna sleep, and then I'm gonna score again and then I'm gonna go to a baseball game, and like I won't be bothered by death so much. OK, so, like, maybe I won't score. WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE!!!!! But, I am almost done with this crap about mortality and stuff. I'm too dumb to be confusing myself with lofty thoughts. I need to be thinking more about scoring and less about scoring.


Less mourning, more scoring

Changed, changed utterly

A terrible beauty WILL SCORE