Well, I went to my GP today with my hubby and my plan for a more organic approach to things has taken a back seat for now. I have really been struggling the last few days and my hubby knew something wasn't right. Long story short, health issues aren't great, and I need some balance to get me through one step at a time.
So today I start anti depressants for the first time ever. I am pretty nervous about it. I have refused to take them previously and worked through things in my own time, but this time I am falling behind and it's impacting work, social situations and home life. I can't let it do that, and I don't plan on being on these long term. I'm not terribly depressed, if at all, but anxiety is causing some issues and I am physically and mentally exhausted. My hubby and mum are really supportive as is my GP. She understands that I do not want to be on these as a first option, or really long term, and strongly supports regular counselling and appointments with her to keep communication open throughout everything. We are starting on a low dose and slowly increasing. She also understands that when I feel I am ready to come off them, we have a plan to reduce dosage as soon as I say the word. This makes me feel better about the process.
I am still nervous, and I have done way to much research over the years on some god awful side effects of anti depressants. This has done me no good now, and definitely does not help my anxiety. However, many people are on different anti depressants, including people I know quite well and I have heard from them how it has been a helpful experience for them to get through things. I guess I need to take it a day at a time, and be aware of changes (good or not so good). As long as my hubby, mum and GP are aware and supportive, things should be okay.
I am still meditating and hubby and I are starting up walking again, which is good. He is amazingly supportive and is coming to my next appointment with my GP which I really appreciate. Things are going to pick up, I suppose sometimes we all just need an extra buffer to get us through. I'll keep blogging how things go here, keep the love and support coming as it helps me a lot. Much love everyone. Xxx
