Today has been an exhausting day. Physically and emotionally exhausting, it sucked balls today.
Hubby and I were having one of our usual conversations after getting home from long days at work. The one where we say how much our jobs suck, we discuss how much goes on the next set of bills. You know, the usual conversations. Then we asked ourselves, why are these the usual conversations?
Our life together... it's amazing. The intense connection we have, the love and support for each other is incredible. We both agree that together we have a relationship that really is so special. The only thing that grinds us is finances, and how that can sometimes leave us feeling like 'slaves to the wage'. We both have passions for different things, and if we didn't have a mortgage we both agree we'd throw caution to the wind and take the risks. Then we come back down to 'reality' and continue on with our daily routines. This continues for a week or so, then we come back to the same point.
Hubby is slowly taking steps to pursue his passion, and I am so proud of him for having the balls to put himself out there. I love seeing the joy on his face when he sees positive results from his actions. It makes me think.... 'what is my true passion? what is spiritually fulfilling to me? how can I have a positive impact on not only me, but those around me too?'
When my health took a hit a few years back, I was working in the health industry (of all places) managing a team of 20 staff. I had worked long hours, taken work home on weekends, was stressed out and clearly not coping with it. It was only when after months of doctors and specialists I was left with the options of returning to work full time or resigning, I made the decision that my health and wellbeing was the priority, and I left the job. 3 years of stress, but a really good wage. It was a big risk, bills still need to be paid. I am lucky enough to have an incredible husband who supported me and continues to when the health hiccups occasionally come up. During that small break I was able to start the healing process within. Meditation, research into what could be causing these issues, practicing self love. It was a brief but wonderful time. Then bigger bills were coming through and we both realised that as much as hubby wanted to support me taking that extra time, we couldn't afford it. And that leads me to where we are now.
Once again, we are at this point where we sit back and ask ourselves how we can wake up each morning and actually look forward to the careers we could have. How far away could this reality be? It's an interesting journey so far, with lots of reflecting internally about what is important for us both collectively and individually. We both want to support each other to do what we love, and do it everyday. We both want to have healthy physical, emotional and spiritual lives - hopefully we will keep moving towards it. Hopefully the worries of finances and discontent at our jobs will one day be a thing of the past.
Much love to you all,
tamsyd Xxx