tamson

so after the boy ignoring my calls/msgs for the past 4 days for no real reason, by yesterday/today i was quite angry about it

finally he decided to email me, then the email fight began, and i really let him have it because i was so angry and pissed off that he could act like that towards me and just treat me with no respect whatsoever.. but he kept on trying to manipulate the situation back to me and trying to blame me, but i stuck to my guns and told him what it was really all about.. meh. so we broke up (allthough by his books we werent even together heh what a fucker got an excuse for everything)

i told him in the end not to contact me, and he never replied and i havent heard from him since... (when i said dont contact me, i really meant i wish youd just make a huge effort and make it up to me and tell me its all worthwhile... *sigh*)

today i was really angry then i was grumpy and now i feel sad, and im trying REALLY hard not to cry, because i know he wouldnt be upset/crying over me, but its too late, typing this and i cry heh. i just have to remember that , and just remember that he was an assholecuntjerk to me, and that i deserve better,,,
still it is hard because i did actually love him (allthough i wouldnt even dream of telling him that)..

im also just feeling sad because i really just wanted it to work out, most of my friends are in relationships and are in love and happy and do all these crappy lovely things together, and i just want that, and its all ive wanted for the last 2/3 years...
I just want real love with no bullshit and no commitment issues,, just us and the world.