Ok so i finally bought a new ipod after somone one stole my other one, but it doesnt realy feel the same. Cause on ma other one i had my book ideas, random thoughts and some new poetry i was working on so even though i got music again so i can stay calm i kinda still miss my old one alot, oh not to mention the custom skin i put on it oh well i will just have to start from scratch (including all my games and apps >....<
Hmm well lets see life. Well ive been so inspired to start writing again, im not sure if its my lack of sleep or is it because of my ideas that im losing sleep wither way i want to create. But every time i try and focus my inspiration and my ideas they die. For my pen is my sword an paper be my battle field but each time i draw ink its as though i draw blood from what is in my mind n it dies ever so quickly before it even has a chance of living in the world. Im not sure why but it has been happening quite a bit latley. Hence i just lay awake pondering my genocide of my ideas, wondering how can i express them but then i end up on here lol.
But i have come to another realization, its almost impossible for me to be friends with females anymore. Why you may ask. Well it seems that among my female friends who i consider my lil sisters( even if their older then me) it turn out much of them have well lets say umm resolved feelings. As in ive gotten so close to them they are kinda in love with me. So what do i tell them. Well i say that they think they love me and its just that im a constant in their lives is all but no im just a dick because i Wont not that i cant but wont recognize their feelings. Idk what to say but im just your friend yes i would take a bullet for you and of course beat the shit out of anyone who messes with them, and love them as family but that love is not a romantic love its like it just cant be. But I'm the asshole cause i feel that way..... fml i need more bro's. or a dog
Speaking of i really want a dog again. Cause having a companion like a dog is well hard to explain. Well to some people who dont get it xD. But when you have a dog as a friend he is loyal and well ends up becoming an extension of you, your hope dreams n all you can express them freely to him/her and idk just having one around i feel at ease and loser to happy.... But how my duty station is now you can no longer get on/off post housing if you have a dog you need to be married to not live in the barracks. I could still rent my own place but again married people are priority not that i blame them or anything guess im just going to have to wait till im back in the states and here are the two types of dogs i want well one of each both males.:
Alaskan Malamute
and a Saarloos Wolfhound
One great thing is that in less then 5 weeks ima back in germany and then its on >: D
but until then im juys gonna try n be chill and happy
