Crush on this!
Why is it so easy to fall for someone?
Why is it that when the first foot crosses the ledge and you begin to descend into the pit of lusty desire, do you look for anything to grab onto to help justify your attraction to that person? Maybe it turns out they like some of the same bands, or maybe they live in the same area, or perhaps they like movies. Oh hey, what a coincidence, you live in North America and you like music and movies too! Hot damn! You must be made for each other!
And why is it that everywhere on this site, there is yet another attractive and interesting person to whom I'm so easily drawn? And I'm not talking about just the SGs either -- it's the members too! Internet crushes are now easier than ever here, given the plethora of cool people to crush on.
You know the routine: you comment stalk them, flip through all the endless quips and anecdotes in their journals that make their lives seem so wonderful, then continue on to look through their naked pics and the pics of their friends during all the endless fun times they're having. You read their profile and somehow think that you know this person based on a select hundred words and images displayed across your computer screen. And the final straw is when you start to get jealous when they (someone you don't even know) pays more attention to another member (someone else you don't know), questioning your own self-worth in the process, wondering "what does that other person have that I don't have???"
Haha, ridiculous... isn't it? And a bit pathetic...
I used to feel okay about myself and have okay self-esteem before SG, but damn it if I don't feel like Quasimodo and Elephant Man's hideous love child everytime I log in now. Seems that 90% of the SG community are way above average looking, 9% still look damn good, while I'm in the 1% that are the by-product of some science experiment gone horribly wrong.
Here's an excerpt from one of my favorite movies, Swingers, that about sums up the experience here on SG:
==========================
ROB
I can't get over how cute the girls in
this city are.
MIKE
I know. It's like the opposite of
inbreeding. The hottest one percent from
around the world migrate to this gene
pool.
ROB
Darwinism at its best.
MIKE
I've been around here six months and I
still can't get over it.
ROB
It's like, every day I see a beautiful
woman. I'm not used to that. I'm used
to seeing a beautiful woman, I don't
know, once a week. I can't handle it.
MIKE
Wait till summer. I swear, you can't
leave the house. It hurts. It
physically hurts.
==========================
I used to not care about what others thought of me, and I did my own thing. The people that came into my life who were attracted to me, were attracted to the real me. But I find more and more, as I login here, if a member has it in her profile that she likes funny men, I find myself trying to be more funny to somehow win points in her favor. Or if she's into punk rock and metal music, I draw attention to that side of my musical favorites, even though I may not have listened to those CDs in years. I find that I'm becoming more fake, the longer I stay here, and I don't like it. In the online world it's too easy to become something that you are truly not. In the real world, it's harder to fake, so it keeps you a bit more grounded in truth. But this also means that the rewards in the real world are usually that much sweeter.
I'm tired and ultimately unsatisfied when I have that fake and virtual feeling of "success" here -- that I'm supposed to feel special just because someone used a kissy-face icon to comment in my journal over something they really couldn't care less about.
I'm tired of these stupid, high school, internet crushes..... they're not real and not worth my time. SG is just a playground -- albeit a fun one. But there's a whole world out there that I've been neglecting over the past few months the more time I've been spending here being sucked in by all the pretense of human connection.
Don't get me wrong. Even though I'm ranting, I've met some cool people on here who I think are awesome. But at the end of the day, it's just an internet site -- a very good one -- but still just a virtual one. This rant is not aimed at anyone in particular, just at myself, for the stupid and idealized way I had hoped to connect with people here.
So to quote the Soul II Soul song, it's "back to life, back to reality" for me....
Currently listening to: New Order - Substance (disc 2)
Why is it so easy to fall for someone?
Why is it that when the first foot crosses the ledge and you begin to descend into the pit of lusty desire, do you look for anything to grab onto to help justify your attraction to that person? Maybe it turns out they like some of the same bands, or maybe they live in the same area, or perhaps they like movies. Oh hey, what a coincidence, you live in North America and you like music and movies too! Hot damn! You must be made for each other!
And why is it that everywhere on this site, there is yet another attractive and interesting person to whom I'm so easily drawn? And I'm not talking about just the SGs either -- it's the members too! Internet crushes are now easier than ever here, given the plethora of cool people to crush on.
You know the routine: you comment stalk them, flip through all the endless quips and anecdotes in their journals that make their lives seem so wonderful, then continue on to look through their naked pics and the pics of their friends during all the endless fun times they're having. You read their profile and somehow think that you know this person based on a select hundred words and images displayed across your computer screen. And the final straw is when you start to get jealous when they (someone you don't even know) pays more attention to another member (someone else you don't know), questioning your own self-worth in the process, wondering "what does that other person have that I don't have???"
Haha, ridiculous... isn't it? And a bit pathetic...
I used to feel okay about myself and have okay self-esteem before SG, but damn it if I don't feel like Quasimodo and Elephant Man's hideous love child everytime I log in now. Seems that 90% of the SG community are way above average looking, 9% still look damn good, while I'm in the 1% that are the by-product of some science experiment gone horribly wrong.
Here's an excerpt from one of my favorite movies, Swingers, that about sums up the experience here on SG:
==========================
ROB
I can't get over how cute the girls in
this city are.
MIKE
I know. It's like the opposite of
inbreeding. The hottest one percent from
around the world migrate to this gene
pool.
ROB
Darwinism at its best.
MIKE
I've been around here six months and I
still can't get over it.
ROB
It's like, every day I see a beautiful
woman. I'm not used to that. I'm used
to seeing a beautiful woman, I don't
know, once a week. I can't handle it.
MIKE
Wait till summer. I swear, you can't
leave the house. It hurts. It
physically hurts.
==========================
I used to not care about what others thought of me, and I did my own thing. The people that came into my life who were attracted to me, were attracted to the real me. But I find more and more, as I login here, if a member has it in her profile that she likes funny men, I find myself trying to be more funny to somehow win points in her favor. Or if she's into punk rock and metal music, I draw attention to that side of my musical favorites, even though I may not have listened to those CDs in years. I find that I'm becoming more fake, the longer I stay here, and I don't like it. In the online world it's too easy to become something that you are truly not. In the real world, it's harder to fake, so it keeps you a bit more grounded in truth. But this also means that the rewards in the real world are usually that much sweeter.
I'm tired and ultimately unsatisfied when I have that fake and virtual feeling of "success" here -- that I'm supposed to feel special just because someone used a kissy-face icon to comment in my journal over something they really couldn't care less about.
I'm tired of these stupid, high school, internet crushes..... they're not real and not worth my time. SG is just a playground -- albeit a fun one. But there's a whole world out there that I've been neglecting over the past few months the more time I've been spending here being sucked in by all the pretense of human connection.
Don't get me wrong. Even though I'm ranting, I've met some cool people on here who I think are awesome. But at the end of the day, it's just an internet site -- a very good one -- but still just a virtual one. This rant is not aimed at anyone in particular, just at myself, for the stupid and idealized way I had hoped to connect with people here.
So to quote the Soul II Soul song, it's "back to life, back to reality" for me....
Currently listening to: New Order - Substance (disc 2)
My advice: Avoid the crush instinct. It only leads to pain. I know this from experience. Recognize when you might be (or are) attracted to someone, and reach out to them in subtle, friendly ways. Reply to their comments. Post to their journal entries. Don't go overboard. Reach out with no expectations, and people will reach back.
f a member has it in her profile that she likes funny men, I find myself trying to be more funny to somehow win points in her favor
Word of advice: They all say that, so don't beat yourself up too much with that one.