Got sex?
In a word..... no
So you can imagine my frustration as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep to the baby-makin' sounds of love coming from the bedroom directly above mine -- my neighbors going at it full steam, as they often do at odd hours of the day and night (i swear there's an orgy going on up there, i hear at least two people in the bed, and two other people walking around in the room) The squeaking of the bed, the restrained "oohs" and "ahhs" hushed down to apartment-level volume, but still loud enough to let you know exactly what was going on -- enough to drive any sexless person a bit nutty.
Being reminded of all the sex I'm missing proves to be a powerful prescription against sleep. So in an effort to distract myself, I make my way to the living room to get away from the sounds of the sex for a minute, and turn on the TV. Well dear reader, TV is not the place to try and forget about sex, because every two minutes there is some image imbued with either sexual innuendo or explicit sexual depiction. For god sakes, I think I saw muppets making out on one of the channels!!!
Muppets!
So ten minutes later, deciding that the universe was trying to cast me out as a complete sexual loser, I turned off the TV and went back to the bedroom.
"Wait....what is this", I asked. "ah.... silence". Looks like the fuck-fest was finally over upstairs as the lovebirds had finished sexing each other up. Finally, I could get some sleep.... So I hop into bed, slip under the covers, cuddle with my pillow, and close my eyes......
"Waaahhhh......OOOrrrhhh.....Mmmewww...."
What the fuck is that?!?!? I rise up out of bed and move to the window to listen close to where the sounds are emanating from -- somewhere out beyond my window, in the alleyway I think.
"Meeeooowww...ooh...ooh...ohh...aahhh.."
Sounding like a car horn on its final gasp for breath after a head-on collision with an 18-wheeler truck, is the sound of cats in the alley, apparently fucking like a couple of high-school rabbits on a warm summer night!
Even the cats were mocking me..... it's a sad state of affairs when you realize that alley cats and fictional muppets are out there having more sex than you....
Suffice it to say, I'll be moving into a monastery sometime next week.... so I'll see you guys around.
Currently listening to: Doves - Some Cities
In a word..... no
So you can imagine my frustration as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep to the baby-makin' sounds of love coming from the bedroom directly above mine -- my neighbors going at it full steam, as they often do at odd hours of the day and night (i swear there's an orgy going on up there, i hear at least two people in the bed, and two other people walking around in the room) The squeaking of the bed, the restrained "oohs" and "ahhs" hushed down to apartment-level volume, but still loud enough to let you know exactly what was going on -- enough to drive any sexless person a bit nutty.
Being reminded of all the sex I'm missing proves to be a powerful prescription against sleep. So in an effort to distract myself, I make my way to the living room to get away from the sounds of the sex for a minute, and turn on the TV. Well dear reader, TV is not the place to try and forget about sex, because every two minutes there is some image imbued with either sexual innuendo or explicit sexual depiction. For god sakes, I think I saw muppets making out on one of the channels!!!
Muppets!
So ten minutes later, deciding that the universe was trying to cast me out as a complete sexual loser, I turned off the TV and went back to the bedroom.
"Wait....what is this", I asked. "ah.... silence". Looks like the fuck-fest was finally over upstairs as the lovebirds had finished sexing each other up. Finally, I could get some sleep.... So I hop into bed, slip under the covers, cuddle with my pillow, and close my eyes......
"Waaahhhh......OOOrrrhhh.....Mmmewww...."
What the fuck is that?!?!? I rise up out of bed and move to the window to listen close to where the sounds are emanating from -- somewhere out beyond my window, in the alleyway I think.
"Meeeooowww...ooh...ooh...ohh...aahhh.."
Sounding like a car horn on its final gasp for breath after a head-on collision with an 18-wheeler truck, is the sound of cats in the alley, apparently fucking like a couple of high-school rabbits on a warm summer night!
Even the cats were mocking me..... it's a sad state of affairs when you realize that alley cats and fictional muppets are out there having more sex than you....
Suffice it to say, I'll be moving into a monastery sometime next week.... so I'll see you guys around.
Currently listening to: Doves - Some Cities
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
maybe the sex they're having is really crap.