Pain, hurt, longing, sadness, sleeplessness, too much for some one to bear it seems. Yet it happens non the less. You feel as if love will never come again; you constantly hurt physically and emotionally. You act normal through your day; happy even. Mostly it's all a clever deception accepted by everyone. Your the nice, funny, and friendly person they all like to have around and love; yet inside you hurt and long for real happiness again that seems just out of reach. You feel as if it will never come; even feel as if you don't deserve it and are better off alone. Why? You aren't sure; your thoughts are chaotic and random and ever changing. Like Alicw you are falling and don't quite understand the strangeness around you. You made due and best you can; though you know it's not quite enough. So you lie to others and yourself. Sometimes optimistic and hopeful. Sometimes depressed and doubtful. Never really knowing and afraid to hope; afraid to wish; afraid to try; afraid of opening up again. Drinking. Smoking. Doing drugs. Self harm. Coping best you can. In private; away from others. Not letting them see the pain, the hurt, the sadness that eats away at you. You rather make other happy and improve their lives while yours falls apart. Fin. End. (Simply didn't have any other thoughts and this is what came to mind to end my rant. Don't read into the the two words as if they have any depth or meaning behind them)
