tabby

Im kind of happy where I am right now...even though I know eventually Im going to have to start school at Qunnipiac(if i get accepted..such a strange process right now..Im going to start harassing them this upcoming thursday to make sure theyve recieved all my paperwork) but anyways....Ed will eventually be stationed somewhere farther away..although he wants to stay in the new england area..but who really knows..either way..hes no longer going to be 15-20 mins away...and I wont be where I am either but the end of this summer..Ill be in Hamden, CT, hopefully, and hopefully ill be living on campus..and almost all my time and energy will HAVE TO BE spent on school work..for 3 years Im going to have to put it first....and I dont know whats thats going to do to my relationship with my boyfriend or even with my friends..Ive never put much effort into school and sometimes it shows(thankfully not this semester...although I did drop A&P, but my other grades were A, A-, and B-..and yea, yea..okay the A was in ceramics lol but the other two were actual classes..so Im happy with that) but anyways....Ive never had to be so...i dont even know what the word is..but ive been a slacker for the last 3.5 years of college..and i have a feelings its going to be hard to change that..and to miss Ed..and to not go out all the time..and to stay home and study.............and its going to be rough either not working, which means no money..or working and having even less time for just hanging out..Ive just recently become a manager-in-training at my work..which means an increase in pay from like $8/hr to atleast $10/hr..so thats a plus...but I also should really start putting away money..I have almost nothing left in my savings..which started with over $20,000 when I first started college over 3 years ago..plus I have loans to pay off as well...just a lot of new stuff is going to be coming..Im going to try to enjoy my last casual semester..although ill be taking Bio 2, which may be tougher than other classes I ususally take..but wahtever..I might as well learn how to study now I suppose..and this summer I plan to WORK ONLY..no summer is ever going to be as good as last summer..but it will be nice to have 2-3 months of no class...which will be the first summer I havent taken classes since highschool..so that should be nice..plus my insurance is up when I turn 23.....I just turned 22 on the 20th...so that really sucks....like really really sucks..i know I still have time before any of this actually happens but Im already starting to stress..I dont want to work while going to school..but I have no more money saved away to just "borrow" for gas...or the occasional night out with friends anymore..and i wont even have summer to save up money for during the year because the major ill be doing has summer long internships..that are NOT paid for...40 hours a week.....oh well....in the end, along side my $80,000 or more debt, ill have the skills and piece of paper that should get me a great paying job that I hopefully really love.....its been a long time coming to even this part of the process...finally deciding on the school I want to go to and applying......I really hope my bad habits of slacking and my love life dosent get in the way of me achieveing my goals...I dont want to give up love..and I feel like we can be okay as long as hes willing to wait for me..its not like we will never see each other but it probably wont be much more than like 2 weekends a month...and only even that much if im not working..ugh. i hate my future plans. i just want to fast forward it all. or...win the powerball and than forget about school all to together...now that would be nice..