taban

This weekend is University Nationals. My coach is having me go up a weight with the thought I will win and go to the Pan Am Championships in San Salvador and qualifiy the spot for the Pan Am games. SO I haven't been cutting weight.. yea! (Up a weight isn't really that much.. I mean have competed at 147 this year; this tournament I wil compete at 158; I normally weigh 155 ish.. so no biggie.
I will be wearing Maroon and Orange while I warm up and around the tournament to show my support of everyone at VA Tech. It's just so sad and tragic and I keep tearing up over the whole thing. I just don't understand why this happened, I guess no one does.
I know a bunch of people who went there last year; so it hits close to home. What if it was MY friends who were still there. What if the people I cared about where the ones being killed. It's just hard to think about.
Coupled with the fact that I think my new birth control is screwing with my head.. it's been a tough week. The hormones are literally making me crazy. I am so depressed; for no reason; just start bawling at the drop of at hat. I need to make an appointment to get this switched. I seriously am worrying myself.

Anyway.. that's all I got for now. Gonna try to sleep and get ready for this weekend.
Love you guys,
Taban