t_patcher

I just got back to camp from a few weeks of training and while I was away I realized that we try to keep everything in the military on a low enough level that anyone could understand. Here are some pearls of wisdom that the US military gives us in an effort to keep us from hurting ourselves. Enjoy...

"Aim towards enemy"
- Instruction printed on US rocket launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend"
- US Marine Corps brochure

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground"
- US Air Force manual

"If the enemy is in range, so are you"
- US infantry journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what is left of your unit"
- Army magazine

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed"
- US Air Force manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo"
- US infantry journal

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds"
- US infantry journal

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... Once"
- ANON

"Do not draw fire; it irritates the people around you"
- US infantry journal

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him"
- US Air Force manual