*sigh wow....its christmas eve
another day of fakeing it with the family.

"oh yea you look wonderful"

"Oh My God! i just love this sweater, thanks grandma"

"Of course i belive Jesus died for my sins"

"and yes i belive in god"


i just hope they dont ask me to prey again, that really got everyone all pissed off when i refused. heh.

so yet...
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Things can be a lot worse than they are. everyone goes through theyre own struggles yet when compared to someone else's they have experienced life at its worst moment. worse than any other because these experiences are theyre own. its all they own.

im thinking im in love with death because it makes me realise i am alive.
without pain and suffereing there would be...
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holy hell im sick as fuck....


i think im going to die...

well, i guess so long to cig.'s for now.

heh, for now

been entranced with call of duty for PC
hella sweet game btw.
im on like 5 different medications....*sigh...fuck being sick...

~current music ~
AFI- of greetings and goodbyes

today was interesting....

over all it was ok, up until about 8:00
found some things out...
jason's going away for good. one of my few friends left in Virginia Beach....
amongst other shitty things that i found out today....

started out good ended shitty...heh what else is new?




~current music~ Owen- Most Days And

so its 2:00 on monday, having no sleep im pretty tired...

this weekend was oddly sober...

but its all good. i was playing the hell out of Max Payne 2....dear god if you dont have the game go buy it now...its worth every penny...

so i still dont know whats going on in my life....bah. if your actually reading this, thanks i really dont expect...
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sooo here i am again at 6:45 am.
sitting at the computer wondering if my life will ever have any constants....
i know one thing that will be, and thats the inconsistancy of my life.

i made some new friends which i am so excited about, so far this sg thing has been so much fun....

ive wasted countless hours on Max Payne 2 and...
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so, why do girls suck? no one will ever know... but they always have a reason to be pissed at you, and you can NEVER win any talks of reason with them...

there are a few exceptions...but theyre hard to come by youll be lucky if you meet 2 in your life......

god damn....

~current music~
H.I.M-Pretending.

so, yea wow. talk about the coolest feeling of a lifetime....hey i wonder how many of you guys have a suicide girl as your friend


all i can say is that shit made my year

sythephotoguy1@hotmail.com

sup,
just chillin at brandons house with my favorite people
man...today was wierd....but its ending up to be really good.
kellys in richmond partyin it up with tony, fa rizzle...
...ok well back to chillin heh. oh and my new friend Valo is like the coolest Mutha fucka on SG. say whats up. lates

grrr, tonight sucks.....i guess i should be getting drunk right now...but im not. im gunna go play some cs....fuck GIRLS I HATE THEM ALL, minus the SG ones. but i dont know them so i cant say that ------BLAH

~current music~

H.I.M- One Last Time