Apple's preview of its next OS is pretty much just a collection of rip-offs from some of it's most innovative and dedicated third party developers. I really championed the Apple principles of form and function and the refusal to compromise for anything but the best of quality, but mostly now I just think it beats the alternatives.
My contract with this massive award winning advertising firm is almost up and I couldn't be happier. I think their accounting department is more creative than their art department. I know that I should ask for a long term piddley ass job and work my way up the ranks, but it's a slimy fucking ladder and I don't want to get dirty like that. Then again, when your poor and down in the muck, it's really not very forward thinking to refuse a rope.
I want to go to Alaska. My sister found this place that can get you on a fishing Trawler for two or three months where you can just make a shit-ton of money. I could get away. Get time to be reflective. Maybe develop a soul.
Because I want it so bad, I know it's not going to happen. I'm the best self-saboteur you'll ever/never meet. I've had SO many opportunities just HANDED to me that just because it was almost attainable, I stopped being interested.
I want a lobotomy. I want to be turned into a vegetable. My head is so full of crap and noise and the loudest thing I hear is about girls. I'm relentlessly obsessed and it's all I seem to think about. It's a wasted a brain. It's a wasted life. I should be doing something else.
OH, but speaking of....
I'm supposed to be hanging out with my ex-girlfriend today. She's perfect being I mentioned a little while back . I think the reason I feel souless is because I left it with her. I'm not even an eighth of the person she made me when we were together. Blah. Blah. Blah. But she hasn't called and I probably won't call her because the I've got a pretty good hunch that the same thing that always happens will happen.
I'll see her and I'll feel nothing. It'll scare the hell out of me because of all the implications that sound so stupid when you say them out loud: That I really don't have any feelings. That I am going to meander through this life aimlessly. That I can't make anything matter.
Well, that's the way this journalling goes, folks. Ninety percent of the time it's all punchlines and banter, but sometimes the off entries come and you alienate yourself. Check back tomorrow. I promise I won't sound a thing like this.
Because all I really need is a nap and food.
My contract with this massive award winning advertising firm is almost up and I couldn't be happier. I think their accounting department is more creative than their art department. I know that I should ask for a long term piddley ass job and work my way up the ranks, but it's a slimy fucking ladder and I don't want to get dirty like that. Then again, when your poor and down in the muck, it's really not very forward thinking to refuse a rope.
I want to go to Alaska. My sister found this place that can get you on a fishing Trawler for two or three months where you can just make a shit-ton of money. I could get away. Get time to be reflective. Maybe develop a soul.
Because I want it so bad, I know it's not going to happen. I'm the best self-saboteur you'll ever/never meet. I've had SO many opportunities just HANDED to me that just because it was almost attainable, I stopped being interested.
I want a lobotomy. I want to be turned into a vegetable. My head is so full of crap and noise and the loudest thing I hear is about girls. I'm relentlessly obsessed and it's all I seem to think about. It's a wasted a brain. It's a wasted life. I should be doing something else.
OH, but speaking of....
I'm supposed to be hanging out with my ex-girlfriend today. She's perfect being I mentioned a little while back . I think the reason I feel souless is because I left it with her. I'm not even an eighth of the person she made me when we were together. Blah. Blah. Blah. But she hasn't called and I probably won't call her because the I've got a pretty good hunch that the same thing that always happens will happen.
I'll see her and I'll feel nothing. It'll scare the hell out of me because of all the implications that sound so stupid when you say them out loud: That I really don't have any feelings. That I am going to meander through this life aimlessly. That I can't make anything matter.
Well, that's the way this journalling goes, folks. Ninety percent of the time it's all punchlines and banter, but sometimes the off entries come and you alienate yourself. Check back tomorrow. I promise I won't sound a thing like this.
Because all I really need is a nap and food.