I realized I need to relax a little bit. I was talking to my ex-boyfriend (who has now become some sort of confidant of mine) last night and I was telling him how stressed out I am lately. He said he'd lost all respect for me and that really shocked me. I never stress out over a guy, I never have. I've always been the dominant one in all of my past relationships, how is this one different? I always take it easy and slow and, as bad as it might sound, I always get my way. So why am I torturing myself this time? I don't need to be in a relationship to feel better about myself. And I realized all I need is some time to sit back and think. Just stare. Maybe go back to the routine, let my body clean from all the toxins I've been feeding it lately. I need some time for me, and for my friends, and to actually move on from what I never got a chance to a month and a half ago.

But before I do anything I need to ask him for my Lividity cd back. He'll be keeping that over my dead body!!