Has there ever in the history of the universe been a persuit as pointless as lawn care?
First and foremost, I would like to tip the hat of shame to our forefathers who, in their infinate wisdom, eschewed the metric system in favour of the standard system...but decided to replicate the verdant fields of their former homeland.
Nature has been caring for itself LONG before humans emerged from the primordial ooze. The only tending we really need to do as a species is to tend to the unbearable amount of waste we have produced.
I am supposed to waste time, money, energy and petrol chemicals to shorten blades of grass that are a contaminant to the local ecosystem. Then they expect me to dump toxins on my lawn to ecourage more lush growth...so I will have to mow it more frequently.
Why, I ask the city?
Because its the ordinance. My ex breaks into my home and menaces me because he believes we are ment for each other and its not your problem...but the length of my fucking grass is top priority?
If I had a penis I would stick it in the ear of whomever devised this system and then get hard just to see what would happen. My guess is they would not even notice.
Now do not get me wrong, I adore organic gardening. I am all in favour of prettifying the local scenery with flowers and produce.
But the native grass is...prarie grass. Not blue tip bermuda. And it does not require mowing. Never has.
Why dont they harass the woman who lives accross from me for dumping toxic chemicals on her lawn?
I could be volunteering for my favourite local environmental cause. I could be helping out at my local CSA farm. I could be providing entertainment in laser form for my cat. I could be learning somthing productive. I could be reading for pleasure. Or just simply pleasuring myself. Or somone else. Or enjoying somone else pleasuring me. But no. I must mow my lawn so that the retired folks in my community will find somthing else to complain about.
If it bothers them so much...why dont they mow it? I meen if they have nothing better to do with their time but stand around and complaine, whats stopping them?
I like the dandylions. I want them to stay. I shoudl not have to mow my freakin' lawn more than once per week.
Enough of my bitching. I must....mow
First and foremost, I would like to tip the hat of shame to our forefathers who, in their infinate wisdom, eschewed the metric system in favour of the standard system...but decided to replicate the verdant fields of their former homeland.
Nature has been caring for itself LONG before humans emerged from the primordial ooze. The only tending we really need to do as a species is to tend to the unbearable amount of waste we have produced.
I am supposed to waste time, money, energy and petrol chemicals to shorten blades of grass that are a contaminant to the local ecosystem. Then they expect me to dump toxins on my lawn to ecourage more lush growth...so I will have to mow it more frequently.
Why, I ask the city?
Because its the ordinance. My ex breaks into my home and menaces me because he believes we are ment for each other and its not your problem...but the length of my fucking grass is top priority?
If I had a penis I would stick it in the ear of whomever devised this system and then get hard just to see what would happen. My guess is they would not even notice.
Now do not get me wrong, I adore organic gardening. I am all in favour of prettifying the local scenery with flowers and produce.
But the native grass is...prarie grass. Not blue tip bermuda. And it does not require mowing. Never has.
Why dont they harass the woman who lives accross from me for dumping toxic chemicals on her lawn?
I could be volunteering for my favourite local environmental cause. I could be helping out at my local CSA farm. I could be providing entertainment in laser form for my cat. I could be learning somthing productive. I could be reading for pleasure. Or just simply pleasuring myself. Or somone else. Or enjoying somone else pleasuring me. But no. I must mow my lawn so that the retired folks in my community will find somthing else to complain about.
If it bothers them so much...why dont they mow it? I meen if they have nothing better to do with their time but stand around and complaine, whats stopping them?
I like the dandylions. I want them to stay. I shoudl not have to mow my freakin' lawn more than once per week.
Enough of my bitching. I must....mow

A great big fire is in order, thats natures way. Just set it all ablaze, it will maker you feel better, its good for the grass, and it will annoy the shit out of your neighbors/city. Just poor a gteat deal of water around the parameter of the "controled burn" and go to town with the lighter. Its fun and inexpensive.
isn't it ironic that the BTK Killer spent his days....enforcing local government ordinances?
I think they are all BTK killers at heart....they're just after our souls instead.