I'ma done fer... I sniff,sniff, <wipes an ever so slight tear from an eye>, I think I'ma gonna have to start selling off my toys, sniff, sniff. Without my pardner , I can't hold down my job shop, get jobs, and fabricate solo... So, do I start selling off my shop tools so that I might be able to actually move without renting a container for my gear with more fantacy money to increase my term of indentured slavery... or, do I sell my beloved 74 cb750 that I'll never be able to replace ... finally just the way I want her... and gamble on the hope that perhaps this time, we may just actually get a honest to goodness genuine Artist who wants to move in cause they could make sculpture, blacksmith w/my gas forge, help me set up for building my glass furnace and perhaps even help pay for the last things I need to get it going... fire brick and a crucible... someone who actaully makes art... and would rather suffer the the horror "dear God!" of actually working risking what you can , and willingly, just to get there. Not just to feel false justification... to say the word, and move into the live/work so they can say the word and beleive their own lies while I risk it all fix it all and am so invested that to turn my back and start over must surely be... sniff, sniff... the most diheartening and life altering event that could quite easily lead to the end of my ambition and my purpose and my only absolute... that I will be more than just a broke washed up art college grad who'll be fixing leaky faucets and windows and wall heaters for the rest of my undoubtedly self destructive pointless life.Sniff, sniff... I swore I'd never sell my bike or my guitars, but I'll also never pull off a shop like I got together over the past 3 years of ass bustin, unemployment, credit juggling, scrounging and rebuilding without a sudden and mystical event involving sudden wealth in the minimum 100,000 range. I spent the last of my youthful vigor on this shop and for a sound and solid definate goal. I'm spent now, and I'm not sure if I'll ever have that kind of physical stamina again... I'm gonna be 31 on the 17th... I've never had a birthday party. Never really wanted one... I hate birthdays, but this year, I kinda feel like it might be nice ... If I wasn't such a darn bloody fuckin Aries, and hold that flapping toungue before laying out the foundation of our demise and it's myriad aspect resulting in the most universal misconception of the true result of modern history and the bastardisation and travesty of all that did not benefit humanity from the potential , moral, and criminal hijacking of what we call progress... the 'Industrial Revolution'... and we get the pleasure of witnessing the result... social devolution. Bugger.
