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synfull

Lost among The Great White Flight

Member Since 2004

Followers 10 Following 33

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Sunday Aug 14, 2005

Aug 14, 2005
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first date poetry assignment with blatant sexual overtones


When was the last time you chewed up your mind and spit it out to me or this paper fresh? Let the blank page possibilities suck your rage and make you wet with wonder at what you ever did to be stuck in a room with us. Fuck desire. Desire is easy, be wet with wonder, know you will fail but guess how and how strange you will become, a numb weirdo walking down city streets alone smiling because you never have to go back to that other home. Take yourself with a hard grip in the nighttime biting lip this is not a life for sunshine, this is coffee shop talk for people who used to smoke too much pot and if we were content to rot wed just move to Agoura Hills or Westlake Village but my children will not live behind iron gates and it doesnt matter because I can barely afford to make payments on my midsized car or my rent but talk to me here in the present tense in this glorified dive bar as I die a social pariah and you shine like a star. It doesnt matter. In the end I dont know what does, but being with you I catch a buzz that this big drink cant match. I think, I smack my self, and then I speak but Id like you to hit me first, on the mouth. Or kiss me which ever way it comes out. I dont care. Things go up and things come crashing down. A movie and book to read, thats neat! (How does that sound?) The throbbing in my somewhere is put to rest by the chest that holds this pound. Now throw those thoughts and you ought to know I bought a chest protector and a mask, but for you I will catch word curveballs with my bare hands and fuck a stanza pour your juices onto me and let me decide if I want to taste them or hide. The ride begins with a devilish grin, open yourself to the free white page and let us slip inside.


8/14/05


candycox:
> I used to be a cutter. I have a very strange, morbid fascination with pain. I like the way my skin feels when it's being cut. I don't really understand why I like it so much... I don't do it anymore, but I still think about it every now and then. I used to get cravings to do it even. I know, I'm a complete freak.

> I've done things while rolling on e that I never would have thought I'd do - I've gotten completely naked and danced all alone around a complete stranger's house to music, I've had sex with a guy and my roommate at the same time, and I danced around an empty apartment while hallucinating vibrant, moving shapes on friends' faces.

> The only time I was serious about committing suicide was when I was once having a bad BAD comedown from e. I got soooo fucking depressed that I tried killing myself with pills. This was also the time I started cutting myself. Thank god I got thru that.

> The misdemeanor I have on my record is from shoplifting. Yes, I'm a fucking shoplifter. My "habit" got out of control for a little while til I got caught at fucking Target for trying to steal $130 worth of shit (DVDs, cosmetics, books, underwear...). I have to pay around $1000 in fines over the next year and I'm banned from fucking Target. haha. I'm a retard.

> I STILL shoplift. I can't fucking stop. I have a very addictive personality. It sucks cuz as much as I want to stop, I uh, well, can't. As weird as that sounds.

> I've been on Lexapro for depression for months now and I just stopped therapy after 6 months straight. I may not look like it, but I am fucked up.

> I like reading the endings to books before I finish reading them, so if I die, I'll know how it ended.


How's that for a dark side? surreal

[Edited on Aug 22, 2005 11:06PM]
Aug 22, 2005

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