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LIFESTYLE OF THE FANGED AND FEARLESS
(AKA CHEAP ROMANTIC WISHES AND WOODEN STAKED DREAMS)

i want to have a dream that my two sharpest teeth are turning into fangs
because that way I could go straight for the softness of her neck
no shame, guilt, fear; just the sweet scent and taste of skin to sink in-to
and all with a vampires directness

i dont want the blood and I dont even know who she is
images and feelings flood, flashes of my last girlfriend, who I stayed with
despite our total inability to communicate on a deeper level (at least with words)
i think maybe what kept us together for a year and a half was the way her pale
gentle neck felt against my face and mouth

i want my fangs to grow so the next time I pass on the urge
to go talk to a cute girl with short hair, or sly eyes, or a hot tattoo
i will simply become the cool undead and tap her gently on the shoulder
leaving behind two tiny holes in her neck and my suave cape and slick hairdo
will be my only explanation and shell totally understand and dig it

when my vampire teeth come in I wont need to escape from
these awkward social situations because Ill just open my mouth and
bite a sexy girl with style, a smart artistic girl with
a wild streak will not make my knees weak because Ill be a vampire bat
who can go off and fly and chill out for a while

yeah that would be cool. to have that dream. or maybe just the
soft, warm neck for my face and skin to rest in. yeah, maybe that will do.