syne

So....I just moved to the heart of Country music...

Wyoming

....well maybe not the "heart" but certainly another similar metaphorically central organ that spews banal and twangy poop from my car stereo.

I don't like Wyoming radio.

It makes a 30 minute drive in the country into an eternal hellfire of boredom. So in honor of my least favorite genera of music....here is a partial list of 100% real county song titles...the titles have always been my favorite part of country...


Am I Double Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?

At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self Service Pump

Bubba Shot The Jukebox

Cow Cow Boogie

Don't Squeeze My Sharmon

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

Get The Hammer Mama, There's A Head On Papa's Fly

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Go Back To Texas And Cheesey French Fry Lake

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

I Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waitin' In Your Welfare Line

I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine.

I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me

I Went Back To My Fourth Wife For The Third Time And Gave Her A Second Chance To Make A First Class Fool Out Of Me

I Would Kiss You Through The Screen Door But It'd Strain Our Love

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.

I'd Like You A Whole Lot Better If We Slept Together

If I Had A Nose Full Of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo

If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

If You See Me Gettin' Smaller, It's Cause I'm Leavin' You

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

Phantom Of The Opry

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

There Ain't Enough Room In My Fruit Of The Looms To Hold All My Lovin' For You

There's A Tear In My Beer

Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?

Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

You're A Hangnail On My Heart And I'm Gonna Cut You Off

You're A Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch



...oh...here's one I just thought of...

"I would've slit my wrists for Country, but internet Radio let me live"...

yeee haw,