So I had the sudden realisation today that most of my friends have graduated. Now, most of my school friends and other people I know are no longer studying. It's not a big thing, I know. People study at different times, but for me it was always a marker. After formal education finished, you were grown up. So here I find us all, scattered in the real world. Making money, mortgages and children. The girl who taught me how to spell her Dutch name with a song has just had a baby. The girl who gave me my first friendship bracelet has bought a house, and me, I'm married. No more larking about claiming we're going to be vets or astronaughts, apparently it's serious now.
Is this it? Did I miss something??
I feel like screaming into the street, "so what now?" What's the next big adventure? I've done what was asked of me, I got the grades, I got the job, I even got the husband. What's my reward? Surely we cant be expected to just sit around and live the normal boring lives that everyone else leads? That's not REALLY how it is? Is it? I never really looked closely before, but heck, real life is dull. You have to go to work to make the money to pay for the house to live in the city to be able to work the job.
You hear about people having a mid life crisis at 30ish and chucking it all in to run away to the country and live however the hell they want, but what I want to know is, how the hell did they make it to 30!! I've not been in this chapter of my life for 4 months yet, and already I want out!!
I've been trying to kid myself that I'm only playing the game until I can get out, until we've made enough money to escape the system without having to starve. But by not being able to leave now, by not being able to up sticks and just leave, I've already proved I'm too deep in. I've come to rely on my nice middle-class comforts. Meals out. Cocktails. City centre flat.
Is this the curse of my age? Perhaps of my generation? Tempted by all the luxory within reach, but still not quite being rid of the wanderlust of youth?
Is this it? Did I miss something??
I feel like screaming into the street, "so what now?" What's the next big adventure? I've done what was asked of me, I got the grades, I got the job, I even got the husband. What's my reward? Surely we cant be expected to just sit around and live the normal boring lives that everyone else leads? That's not REALLY how it is? Is it? I never really looked closely before, but heck, real life is dull. You have to go to work to make the money to pay for the house to live in the city to be able to work the job.
You hear about people having a mid life crisis at 30ish and chucking it all in to run away to the country and live however the hell they want, but what I want to know is, how the hell did they make it to 30!! I've not been in this chapter of my life for 4 months yet, and already I want out!!
I've been trying to kid myself that I'm only playing the game until I can get out, until we've made enough money to escape the system without having to starve. But by not being able to leave now, by not being able to up sticks and just leave, I've already proved I'm too deep in. I've come to rely on my nice middle-class comforts. Meals out. Cocktails. City centre flat.
Is this the curse of my age? Perhaps of my generation? Tempted by all the luxory within reach, but still not quite being rid of the wanderlust of youth?
Happy Holidays to you and yours!