Ok,
so last year I hit near 50k on my IG
I deleted it a month later
Do I regret it? yes and no
Here is why.
I started IG at the age of 20,
from the age of 12-20 there are no images of me, I hated myself
I decided I wanted to try see what other people saw when looking at me and wanted to let my inner artist out, so Instagram was born.
I started off as "cutest cupcake" , started Gramming my food, outfits, friends, I then started the alternative modelling that is suicidegirls.
After my first set went live, I started gaining more followers, along with that came a mix of emotions,
Firstly I started to love myself, by putting myself naked on the internet I bared not only my skin but my soul , I didn't gain self love through seedy comments, but through realising that everyone sees beauty differently , and no matter what shape you are, you are art, you can express yourself freely and social media gave me that freedom.
sadly along with all of the support comes hate.
I gained a few stalkers who would make fake accounts and try cyber bully me, all due to the fact I found self love. I lost close friends, and I gained a reputation for being 'that naked girl' on social media
A year down the line, I did another set, started posting more on social media, voicing my opinion toward cyber bulling and trying to put myself in the lime light of 'social media' to connect with other people who felt the same, it worked, I had hit 30k.
At the 30k mark, I started gaining interest from photographers. , clothing companies etc etc , I also decided to start DJing, with this came my name change "Sylvia Gold" , which a friend gifted me. Big names like playboy mexico' and 'arsenic' started following and interacting with me , I was finally achieving what I wanted.
Social media helped me gain gigs, free clothes, "friends" , but what it gave me was anxiety and relationship issues.
I hit 40k.
It was cool, people kinda weirdly gave you more respect, I was unsure how to feel , I've never been big on being the centre of attention, I dis liked telling people about my instagram as I didn't want to seem big headed, so I wouldn't really mention it.
I hit 45k
I started going out more, due to playing more gigs I was being more social, one night, a chick came up to me and said 'I don't like you cos my boyfriend follows your instagram' , this comment on top of several other females in my town blocking me from their social media ( I had never met them) , really hit home, I felt like that because I had worked hard at building a status on 'social media' , the people around me hated me , even though I wasn't on my high horse about it, as I saw it as just a number and a business path , the bitterness behind the eyes of people I did not know really upset me, I went through a break up, and deleted it at 50k.
Now, this is the short version, so much went on in between , I'm not saying I hated it all , in fact I'm starting all over with IG
But here is what I have to say about how social media has affected me
It made me a shit load stronger, it's pushed me , it gave me the opportunity to grow as a human, to work with photographers and artist , it gave me a platform to reach from, I donated to charity's with some money I made, I made friends all over the world. It has show me that people will hate you for no reason.
There is nothing wrong with social media, it's all down to who's behind it
You just have to be ready to use it
I think I'm ready again
