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sylvia

see Secretary for a clue

Member Since 2004

Followers 22 Following 14

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Thursday Apr 29, 2004

Apr 29, 2004
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I think I've mentioned it before (although not here), but I am horrible in relationships...

I don't know how to explain it. There's that wonderful puppy love stage, which sometimes I totally skip, and then the settling down stage, the first big fight, the make-up, and then what? What about when you become comfortable? What about when things are awkward? I have to actually talk about all of the things I am feeling? It's really that simple?

I seem to do better when there are constant problems that I feel I must fix (or die trying). Since E and I get along fairly fabulously, I am left wondering what to do. The first time I was in love, I started fights so that things would feel normal to me (if you knew how my father acted when know one else was around, you would understand). I've grown up a bit since then... But I still don't know what happens now. I guess I have time to myself, which is an altogether new and perhaps frightening. I don't handle my own afairs all that well...

Perhaps I should make a list of all the things I want to get done, or perhaps I should just start doing them. I am finally keeping track of things with an organizer, which is an entirely new and sdult thing for me. I suppose it's about time; I am almost 23. I just realized how young that is... (at least, it seems young to me).

So yes, there are a number of things I can think of just having to do with my car, like having the window and muffler repaired... And my room could be cleaned in a day (I think) if I would really put my mind to it. I think the first thing I will do is finish sorting through my clutter, and then I will decide on everything else.

Tomorrow I am going to an amusement park. I usually don't participate in this sort of thing, but a friend has free passes and went out of his way to invite me. I bought some new linen pants and a pink hat for the trip. I will have to remember sunscreen, of course, or I may die of skin cancer.

I suppose I should sleep, as I am being picked up at 9:30 for the amusement park trip...

cfg:
honestly, I think a lot of women are like that..I do the same thing with my boyfriend, if things are too eerily calm or too eerily perfect, I'll find the tiniest little thing that bothers me and for some reason just make it worse. I dunno..it makes me feel a bit insane sometimes. You're not alone in it.
Apr 29, 2004

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