swoodypantz

A friend found this on a message board and I couldn't help but die laughing at the response.

Thought all you pagan, heathen types (myself included, natch) might get a kick out of this too (thank god for you all!).

:o) S

<<< Dogmatician wrote:

Lev 18:22 'You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.
since a true christian believes Jesus is GOD and these are just as much His WORDS as anything else in the bible.Liberial should not twist scriptures like a wax nose to suit the sin.

>>> jusferposten wrote:

Ah...another "christian" who lives in the Old Testament. Jesus is the NEW Covenant...the NEW promise. Of peace and forgiveness. How sad you fundies really are. But, hey, since YOU brought up leviticus, i guess it's time for...yessir..BIBLE QUESTIONS! ready, fundie?

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing smell for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am not allowed to have contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly state she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is lesser abomination than homosexuality? I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair cut, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the bible, in Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11:6-9 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of threads (cotton and polyester blend). He also tends to curse a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town to stone them? - Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? Leviticus 20:14

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.