swirlie

light is no different than darkness.
i take that back.
when theres too much of either, you cant see, but darkness has never given me a headache.
the absence of anything isnt necessarrily a good or bad thing.
nor is its presence.
im addicted to life but i cant stop dying.
my only desire is the desire not to desire.
simplicity seems to be an impossiblity.
so what does it mean to be a good person?
is not being a bad person godd enough to be a good person? no
i saw an old homeless lady the other day. i wanted to give her money, she wasnt asking for it. she just stood there, looking at everyone as they tried not to let her see them looking at her.
i did the same thing as everyone else. i had $10 on me. i should have given it to her. i bought pizza for myself and 2 friends. in any other situation this would seem pretty nice, but none of us needed it as much as she did. it was weird. as much as i wanted to give her the money, i wanted pizza. but i was also scared to approach her. im not sure why. she looked harmless. this has really been bothering me. i try being noble, but instead i acted like nobility, just ignoring the porblems of those who need attention.
so sometimes doing nothing is as wrong as doing the wrong thiing.
next time ill get it right.