Monday Aug 20, 2007

0
today is my last day in my apartment.
my things are already on their way.
my ex keeps calling me drunk off his ass. it depresses the hell out of me. the last time he called he just had to bring up one time when he was drunk and said some really aweful things to me. the kind of things that my drunk mother used to say to me. it was one of the worst nights of my life. i havent thought about it since it happened but he had to dredge it up. why does he do these things? is he trying to hurt me? i guess he probably is since i've left him.
i'm feeling so overwhelmed and feeling waves of depression. i just want it all to be over. i want to be in my new home away from this place. my last day of work was night before last. it was so hard leaving my boys. my ex has evicted me from my life. i worked so hard to make my house a home and fit my job to me but at home with him it was like being a hostage. i had no energy to live a life. i was so exhausted from cleaning up after him in figurative and literal ways. i feel like a weight has been lifted but i'm also so scared about where i go from here. i still have expenses and i have no job waiting for me. i've spent every penny i have. i keep trying not to worry or freak out cause i know it doesnt help anything but it is so hard!
trilobitten:
last days are always hard. that's rough that your ex has been calling you. that's got to be very difficult to deal with. i'm sure this is hard enough without him calling you up and saying things like that. but this is your opportunity for a fresh start. you are right, worrying and fretting accomplishes nothing (this from the master worrier whatever ) so keep your energy positive. remember, you can do anything you set your mind to!
fred:

Good luck to with your new transition.
take care

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