sweetzen

i did the best thing today. me and the hubbie went to the sonoma county recycling center. there was all this stuff to sift through. windows, doors, tile, records, tools, equitment. pretty much anything you could think of. its like an artists dream out there!
a little while ago the hubbie dented our coffee table so ive been dying to make another one. while i was out there i found a real wood, solid, exterior door and i'm gonna use it for the table top (i'm gonna reuse the other legs). its gonna be so much fun. i love new projects.

last monday one of my favorite kids where i work attached my shift-partner. i'm just writing about it now because i wanted to process it. he was in a bad space when he woke-up because he felt he'd been stiffed on PS2 time (you'd be surprised how life-shattering ps2 time is to these guys). he wasn't perticipating in his morning program (cleaning his room, shower/hygene, eating breakfast, etc). it was obvious to everyone how angry and frustrated he was. i have more of a passive approach to the kids. i let them know that there will be consequences (they already know what they are) and i make sure they are not interfereing with the other kids and arent leaving the house or causing damage but other than that i dont try to force them to do anything. even if they get their act together they will still be losing points as if they hadnt done their program and we both know it. so whats the point of fighting over it when it will disrupt the house? i was dealing with the 4 other guys in the house and my partner kept riding him trying to make him obey (with words only of course). he got progressively more angry and started slamming around his room. she kept telling him he needed to go to the op-room to cool off. he was way past that point and threatened her and broke a window. i knew it was past time to back-off of him but she kept yelling at him. she never got in his face or anything but i think she could have prevented the blow-up. he shot out of his room as she yelled for him to go to the op-room. he turned around and lunged at her. he pushed her into the door-jam and then proceeded to punch her in the side of the head. i shot out of the house to get reinforcements who ran in and pinned him to the ground. the cops ended up being called and reports had to be made.

in no way do i think that my partner was responsible for the attackm i just beleive if she had not been so confrontational with him he wouldnt have reacted in that way. its hard to know how to feel about the whole thing. she almost set him off again this monday! i was appaled. she didnt learn at all how to deal with him. he started out the morning in a really good space and by the end of the morning he was right back in that bad space. fortunatly this time he took space in the op-room before he was filled with rage and without even being asked. i was really proud of him and a bit disappointed in her. he army type methods just dont work with our population it puts them on edge. these kids almost all come from abuseive back-grounds and they all have developmental disabilities. you just have to deal with them in a different way than you would a "normal" kid. i work really welll with them because coming from an abusive environment myself i understand how to talk to them without triggering fear, panic or anger. i really wish our company offered non-violent communication training because there is a lot of staff that could use it!