sweetwilliam75

"I just KNEW."

I've heard people say this before about the one they married. My brother, he proposed a mere 3 months after meeting his wife. My best friend proposed about 4 months in and was married 11 months after meeting her. At the time I was pretty quick to call them crazy. In fact, I would have even have gone so far as to say they were both making huge mistakes. Of course here it is 10 years and 6 years later respectively, and all is well.
The question is, is there something to this "I just KNEW" thing? Or did they just roll the dice and luck out? They're both smart guys. I thought they were blinded by love... maybe falling for the oldest trick in the books... the sirens calling them in to the rocks... or perhaps not?

I've been in some long-term relationships. One lasted a year and a half, and one lasted three and a half years. At no point in those relationships did I just "know" anything about my future marriage possibilities. Actually, the more time that went by, the more unsure I became. People would ask, "so when are you and _______ going to get engaged?" My answer would usually be something cryptic or sometimes cynical. Never once did I say "soon." The prospect literally scared the shit out of me. The only definitive thing I "knew" was that the idea of marrying this person did not seem entirely possible or like the right thing to do. When that finally sunk in I got out. And thank whatever I did. I guess the process in those two relationships was pretty standard as far as realizing this person isn't the one for me, and I should get out.

I've heard other stories of people who didn't know right off, and that it took a long time for them to grow and accept what they wanted to do with the person they were with. I'm curious to know if there are any differences between the two scenarios in the long run. Did the "slow burn" couples settle? Or was it a personality thing that caused them to wait longer? Or just common sense?

I understand the difference between euphoria/infatuation and something with a stronger base to reality. I'm no idealist either. Having lived through what I have, I know that I could tell one from the other, the truth from what I wish, and the future from a dream.

Because... the truth is now... I KNOW. I know without a shadow of doubt. I have no fears. No regrets. Nothing holding me back. In fact if I wasn't enjoying the ride so much I'd want to push fast forward a little. I don't regret my past, even moreso now, because its given me such a new sense of clarity and vision. I can literally feel myself crossing the median, so-to-speak; like I've taken a few steps now over the crossroads and I can see what lies ahead, and its fucking beautiful. The only look back is one of nostalgia and gratefulness for the experience and the lessons learned.. the bruises on my feet.

And its easy to write something off as crazy. That's a cop out. If you don't understand something, you tend to brand it as crazy, because that takes away its power. That takes away any sense of faith, or beauty. Crazy can be fun but it doesn't have legs. I've been the guy calling them crazy. And now, I'm on the other side. Its a nice perspective....... so....

The best, and surest reason for how I feel, however, is this woman. This woman who is always within me, everywhere I go, who makes me lose my breath, who's eyes burn through me every time I look in them... my passion for her overwhelms me and pours out.. and I do not doubt that it always will... I see us, two old fuckers, walking hand-in-hand.. and that suits me, because some day I'll be an old man and I'll close my eyes for the last time thinking, "I knew it."