sweettoof

sorry it's been awhile since i've updated this thing. i've been spended time with my mom in the hospital. she was in really bad shape for awhile. i've been preparing myself for this for a long time now. but hearing my mom tell us she is ready to die hit me like a sledge hammer. that was the first time i've cried in years. she said she's tired of being a burden on everyone and sick of hospitals and all the poking and probing that's involved. i can't say i blame her. i've always said that if i had to be hooked to machines, to just unplug them. i don't want to live that way. i've done enough in life to be satisfied.

but on a brighter note i got tattooed the other day. got my whole forearm done. it's a big sacred heart with a mom banner. she hates tattoos, but when i showed it to her and told her what it was she just smiled real big, and gave me a kiss. it's kinda like a peace offering. we haven't had the best relationship, but the past is in the past, and that's where it stays. i think the tat somehow cheered her up and got her spirits up. my brother came up from florida to see her. her last wish was to see her three sons together one more time. it's been years since she's had that chance. so we ran to walmart and bought a polaraid camera and took some pix for her to hang in her room. she has them taped to her bed. she seems to be doing a lot better. and so am i.